Is Divorce Easier When Your Kid Is Still a Baby?


divorce with kids, divorce worse with kidsGetting divorced sucks. I've never been divorced, and I have no plans on getting one, but I am the child of a "dissolved marriage."

Lilsugar wants to know if divorce is more devastating when kids are involved. I think it absolutely is. Sure it's sad when two people break up, but when there are kids, that affects even more people. No matter how "right" the split might be for the couple (and for the kids), no child wants to see her parents get divorced.

So here's what I want to know: Do you think getting a divorce is easier or harder when your child is still a baby?


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Kylie... Kylies_mommy72

I believe it depends on the situation. For example my husband and I are separated, he lives a state away from our daughter and I and has only seen her 4 times since she was born. She is 5 1/2 mos. old. I see my brother and Dad quite often so she has plenty of positive male role models in her life. For us, this is the way it has always been, so she doesn't know any different and hasn't developed a relationship with her father yet. However I am wondering what it will be like for her when she is older.

I am curious about this also, and any advice from anyone in a similar situation would be nice.

Shade... ShadesofGrey

Probably easier... the baby won't have any memory of the parents being together. She would not have to adjust from having both of parents under the same roof to having them living apart and trying to divide time between them. My father passed away when I was two months old. While this had a monumental impact on me, it would have been 100 times harder if I had memories of him. I think it is the same with nearly any kind of potientally devastating situations.

isispunk isispunk

My parents got divorced when my brother was 11, I was 9, and our sister was only 4. my brother and I took it harder at first because we understood what was going to happen. My sister was too young at the time to understand. Our dad stayed in our lives though so we saw him at least once a week. Over time my sister became so attached to my father that it was almost scary while my brother and I still have a very normal relationship with him. I think that it does have to do with her being younger but maybe it would be different with a baby seeing as how they would have never really known their parents to be married. I think it really depends on the situation.

crazd... crazdlilangel19

I think it is easier when your kid is a baby when you get divorced. My parents divorced when I was two so I don't remember most of the court battles and all that... all I remember is that I had a teddy at mommy's that I saw every day and then I had a teddy at daddy's that i only saw every so often. my dad came and got me for our visits on a regular basis and when i was old enough, we would talk on the phone on a nightly basis. i had a better relationship with him than i did with my mother.

nily nily

I got divoreced when my DD was 2 months old and she doesnt have a memory of me living with her father so the moment of separation dint afect her what so ever because she was too young to remember but eventualy as she grew she started asking questions and one day she pop the big question in our faces ''What happend between you two why we are not living together and instead you guys have second families'' So I explain her that we once love each other so much that we had her but with the time we figured out that we were too diferent and wanted diferent things in life so we decide that we coulnt be together anymore. But although we dint love each other anymore we are good friends and we still LOVE her with all our heart. So in my opinion sonner or later will afect them in some way.

Tanya... Tanyamsbg

I think no matter how young a child is, they are affected by parents splitting up. My son is 3 months old and I have been seperated from my husband for a month now. The stress of all that, has definately affected him as well as me. I can tell when he comes back from his dad's that he is more irritable and more clingy. They don't have to have a clear memory, or be able to talk for them to be affected by it. I know the time will come that he will ask questions, and be able to tell me his feelings about it. And it will always affect him (for the rest of his life) in one way or another. For now though, I don't need to hear his words to understand, as his mommy, how he feels.

Arian... AriannaJo

Basically, the baby at birth has all the qualities for the personality that will come later. A baby needs a relationship with a “primary caretaker,” one adult who provides a consistent relationship. Psychologists have found that young babies develop human attachment by bonding with just one person. It’s all right to have many people in a baby’s life, but there must be one constant person so he or she can develop a bond. Be very careful not to use your baby as a pawn in your divorce.

1-7 of 7 comments