Working Moms Can Stop Feeling Guilty

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No matter what you do, you feel guilty. You're a mother after all. But here's great news for working moms who feel guilty about the diminished amount of time they get to spend with their babies.

New research by the Australian Institute of Family Studies shows that babies of mothers who work outside the home get just as many cuddles as those of stay-at-home moms. Not only is the cuddle time equivalent (138 minutes a day), but the amount of time that babies are held, talked to, and read to is also the same.

The researchers found that mothers who worked most of the day were more efficient about creating time with their baby when they were home, and that dads and grandparents in these families help make up for lost mommy time.

Breastfeeding rather than work status had more of an impact on the amount of attention a baby received, according to the study. Breast-fed babies got an extra hour of one-on-one attention every day compared to bottle-fed babies. Breast-fed babies were read to, talked to, or sung to for 27 minutes more per day, and they were also held, cuddled, comforted, or soothed for 32 minutes more per day than bottle-fed babies.

On the downside, breast-fed babies slept 40 minutes less each day than bottle-fed babies and spent five minutes more each day crying than bottle-fed babies.

How soon did you go back to work after having your baby? How did you feel about it? Do the results of this study make you feel differently?

 

 

bonding, work

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KatieP. KatieP.

six weeks. I did not feel guilty at all. For the first six months my ILs watched him then after that day care. Only a tiny bit sad after about two months in daycare when in the morning he would happily go to the daycare woman and not cry about it : (  

heath... heatherama

I don't really see how that's possible. I know plenty depends on the caregiver but how exactly can a baby be held for the same amount of time when care for one on one versus in a class of 10 or more? It's just not statistically possible.


Again, a lot depends on the caregivers. It's also important to take in account the differences(if any) between American childcare facilities and Australian ones.

Spiri... SpiritedTigress

I do believe it depends on the caregivers. I'll be carring my newborn around in a Moby Wrap EVERYWHERE, including cooking & cleaning. I'll also be sleeping with him. So I dont see how someone working away from their child would get as much time as I will.

ivans... ivansmom07

I went back to work six months after my son was born.  The first couple of months were ok.  When he turned 9 months, separation anxiety got really bad and he'd cling to me and cry when I dropped him off.  I hated every minute of it.


When I got home, I made it a point to spend a large portion of my time with him.  Bedtime schedules went out the door and chores waited while I cuddled my little guy.

ivans... ivansmom07

I do believe it depends on the caregivers. I'll be carring my newborn around in a Moby Wrap EVERYWHERE, including cooking & cleaning. I'll also be sleeping with him. So I dont see how someone working away from their child would get as much time as I will.


SpiritedTigress Jul. 13, 2009 at 11:36 AM


I did the same thing with my son =) 


You have to remember, though, a lot of moms depend on swings, bumbo seats, etc. to hold their kids while they do stuff around the house.  Not that there's anything wrong with that...

lunar... lunarlady

6 weeks. and worked most of the time time he was2 1/2-3. this posts doesn't change how i feel at all. i honestly missed out on the beginning bond with my son. he developed a speech delay/impetiment, and the money was gone as fast as i made it.  so no, going back to work was not worth a dime when it comes to actually being there for my kids.

lunar... lunarlady

if i had to do it all over again i would have stayed home, then my kids would've had a fair start. remember nobody will love your children like you do and you gotta be careful because babyies can't talk. i don't feel safe leaving my kids with anybody antmore.

amw529 amw529

This is good to hear.  As much as I love spending time with my little guy now, I know when late August comes, I'll be ready to go back to work.  Fortunately I've got the day care all set up.  We need the money and the insurance coverage, and fortunately as a teacher I can be flexible enought to still spend my time with my son. 

bradihn bradihn

I feel the guilt constantly and my kids are 6 and 9. It's not easy returning to work after being home for 8 years with the kids. I've interviewed celebrity moms on this very topic and they too wrestle with this emotion. Malaak Compton-Rock (wife of Chris Rock) admits that she was put on this earth to be more than a mother and wife and recommends that we push through the guilt. Keep pushing, if you must.

Bradi

Co-Founder, MyWorkButterfly.com

mmmom... mmmommy0207

I'm blessed to be able to bring my babies into work. (we own the business) However, it means I'm at work longer than I want to be. With my 19 mo, I worked up until the day I went to the hospital, and went back as soon as I stopped bleeding (about 3 1/2 weeks) I'm due in Oct, and I plan on doing the same thing. My toddler has been staying with grandpa and grandma ever since he figured out how to walk. He has more fun over there. I worry sometimes how BFing is going to go now that I remodeled my office and it's not completely enclosed. I guess people are just gonna have to deal with it!

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