babies ruin friendships

photo by momof4iam

True friends 4-eva!

"About three weeks after my son was born I went out to meet a friend for coffee. It took Herculean effort to get out the door—finding sweatpants that fit over my yo-yoing waist and a hat to cover my dirty hair, strapping my protesting infant into a carrier, packing diapers and blankets and pacifiers—and by the time I got to the cafe I was a sweaty, anxious mess.

My friend was wearing heels and looked sickeningly well rested.

'Oh!' she said, 'I didn't know you'd be bringing the baby!'

No, I thought I'd just leave him home alone, tended by our cats."

So writes Emily Zeeberg, mom to Emerson.

It's so funny and so true. Having a baby changes your life. It can also change the relationships in your life—for better or for worse. Before we had our baby, Mr. Cafe Suzanne and I hung out with a group of friends, none of whom has kids (and none of whom wants them). Needless to say, when we get invited over for dinner or brunch, our baby is not welcome—even though they always say, "Bring the baby along!" we know they don't mean it. It's hard for them to understand that we can't do things at the last minute, or stay out as late as we used to. I've found we tend to see them less, and that's just the way it is for now.

Has having a baby changed your relationships or caused you to lose friends?