photo by KatieVespe
My mother-in-law lives across the country so when I had my baby it wasn't really an issue whether or not she'd be in the delivery room. But when my sister-in-law had her baby, it was another story. She decided to hire a doula and our mother-in-law was really offended—she thought she should be the doula. The reasons she couldn't be a doula are many (the most important being she has no idea what a doula does). She has no training, she's not the supportive type, and she's also pretty frail. None of that mattered—she wanted to be in the delivery room. The problem is my sister-in-law did not want her there.
raehope is about three months pregnant and her mother-in-law has said she wants to be in the delivery room. raehope said no, and now both her husband and her mother-in-law are mad at her. She asks in the Pregnancy section of Answers, "How can I make everyone (including me) happy so that they stop stressing me out?"
Here's what some experienced moms had to say:
"We went through this and I told my mother-in-law that I would be very embarrassed if she were in the room. I would not want a bunch of people looking at my crotch. Tell her you're very modest. — staceynoel
"My mother-in-law wanted to be there, but I just had the nurse kick her out. My nurse was cool—she said if i didn't want to tell everyone to get out she'd do it." — Branbran24
"Both my mother and mother in-law wished to be there with me. I told them I only wanted my husband. We made the baby, it's a part of both of us, and it's something special I wish to go through with him. Those disappointed will get over it, the most important thing in the end is both you and baby come through it all right." — Knightquester
"You need to be comfortable, forget what everyone thinks. It's all about you—until the baby arrives that is." — Rachel24517
"My mother-in-law wanted to be in the room and I said no. My husband was upset and didn't think it was fair that my mom could be in the room, but his couldn't. I told him that I didn't feel comfortable with her seeing my body, but that if he wanted to lie on a bed with his genitals exposed for my mother to see, then his could be the room. That was the end of that." — SabrenaLeigh
Was your mother-in-law in the delivery room? Did she want to be? What did you tell her? How did she react? How did your husband react?
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Comments 81
heck no
LOL! Not only was my mother in law in the delivery room, so was my father in law, and then my parents...my husband, myself, our doctor, a surgeon (for a second opinion),my crotch open for the world to see...and I didn't care. I'm voyeuristic anyway. I think I wound up laughing about it more than ever being repulsed..For my second one it was another c section so it was just my husband, the surgeon, myself, and our family doctor was there as well...along with a couple of nurses who worked in OR. My mother in law and father in law waited in the birthing/delivery room for that one.*S*
It was never an option for me. My husband said from the get-go NO ONE was going to be in that room but him, the doctor/nurses, and me. I told him that I was going to reserve the right to ask my mom to be there if I needed her but it turns out I didnt want anyone there. Both mothers were there as they were changing the room to delivery mode and I looked at them adn said in a very determined voice "its time for youi to go NOW"
for me it was never a question of who i wanted in the room threw out the day everyone came back. I started out only wanting my husband in the room then he said he didnt want to be alone in there with me. and my step mom wanted to be in the room.( my mom passed 7 years ago) so we had my step mom in there. but with the next one its deff only going to be my husband and I. i think his parents felt left out. and that away they are equal.
no way!!!!
uggg didnt want her there she showed up and i started flipping....my husband finally escorted her out....i hate that women!!
I would NEVER let my mil in. My rules is "If you've never seen me naked now is NOT the time to start." I'm due in June with my first, and have no idea if she wants to be in there or not.... But I cant wait to tell her NO!!!!! Hubby agrees
yep, my mother law was in the delivery room she also held one of my legs while i pushed. i was a little comfortable at first but, now i could care less who is in there as long as the baby comes out.
For my first, my MIL was in the room and I didn't really mind. For my second though, for some reason I didn't really want her there. I love her but I didn't want her there. So we asked if she could watch our son when I went into labor. She would never say no to that so she had no choice but stay at our house. I didn't want to hurt her feelings and straight up say I didn't want her there so that took care of it.
My mom was in there with me. I wanted her with me. My DH is a wonderful man and daddy but, my mom knows how to comfort me when I need it. I think it's wonderful that she was there to witness both my DD's make their entrance into the world.
I would have loved to have my MIL in there too but, she felt uncomfortable being in there. I told her she could stand at my head and wouldn't have to watch but, she felt she would be intruding. She came in as soon as she could. I love my MIL like a second mom so, it wouldn't have bothered me one bit. She came to many of my doctors appointments and came both times we found out the sex of our girls. With both my girls it was me, hubby, mom, my mil and fil when we found out what we were having the first time. The second time MIL and FIL were divorced so it was just my mom and mil along with hubby and first DD. :0)