mother-in-law MIL in delivery room

photo by KatieVespe

My mother-in-law lives across the country so when I had my baby it wasn't really an issue whether or not she'd be in the delivery room. But when my sister-in-law had her baby, it was another story. She decided to hire a doula and our mother-in-law was really offended—she thought she should be the doula. The reasons she couldn't be a doula are many (the most important being she has no idea what a doula does). She has no training, she's not the supportive type, and she's also pretty frail. None of that mattered—she wanted to be in the delivery room. The problem is my sister-in-law did not want her there.

raehope is about three months pregnant and her mother-in-law has said she wants to be in the delivery room. raehope said no, and now both her husband and her mother-in-law are mad at her. She asks in the Pregnancy section of Answers, "How can I make everyone (including me) happy so that they stop stressing me out?"

Here's what some experienced moms had to say:

"We went through this and I told my mother-in-law that I would be very embarrassed if she were in the room. I would not want a bunch of people looking at my crotch. Tell her you're very modest. — staceynoel

"My mother-in-law wanted to be there, but I just had the nurse kick her out. My nurse was cool—she said if i didn't want to tell everyone to get out she'd do it." — Branbran24

"Both my mother and mother in-law wished to be there with me. I told them I only wanted my husband. We made the baby, it's a part of both of us, and it's something special I wish to go through with him. Those disappointed will get over it, the most important thing in the end is both you and baby come through it all right." — Knightquester

"You need to be comfortable, forget what everyone thinks. It's all about you—until the baby arrives that is." — Rachel24517

"My mother-in-law wanted to be in the room and I said no. My husband was upset and didn't think it was fair that my mom could be in the room, but his couldn't. I told him that I didn't feel comfortable with her seeing my body, but that if he wanted to lie on a bed with his genitals exposed for my mother to see, then his could be the room. That was the end of that."  — SabrenaLeigh

Was your mother-in-law in the delivery room? Did she want to be? What did you tell her? How did she react? How did your husband react?