New Mom Secrets: I Love Leaving My 9-Month-Old in Daycare

on May 14, 2009 at 7:18 AM

It's hard being a new mom (or even an experienced mom to a new baby) and sometimes we do things we know we shouldn't, despite what all the experts say. But this is a safe place to share your secrets—we won't tell.

This Week's Secret:

"My 9-month-old son is in daycare from 7:30 until about 5:30 while I'm at work every day—and I love it. If I had to stay home with him all day, I'd go nuts. I love him, but I like being around adults and working gives me a much-needed break. My mom says I need to find a way to work from home otherwise he'll be 'emotionally challenged.' I love my job—it's got good pay, great benefits, and I never have to work weekends. I love my son's daycare teacher, and he's always happy when he's there. He's even made a friend. Is it so wrong for me to want to go to work and be happy that my son is in daycare? —anonymous

We all have secrets and opinions—so thanks to this brave mom for sharing her honest thoughts, and thank you for keeping this conversation nonjudgmental!

Past confessions:

I Took My Baby to a Bar

I Drove My Baby Without a Car Seat

I Forgot My Baby's Name!

I Leave My Twin Babies Home Alone

I Let My Baby Wear a Dirty Diaper

I Wish I Never Had a Baby

About the author Suzanne Murray

is the Parenting & Political editor at The Stir/Moms Matter 2012.

Filed Under: child care

Comments (46)

tyrelsmom

on May 14, 2009 at 7:27 AM

Ok, I get the needing a little time away, but when the child spends more of his waking time at daycare than with you, every day, I start to wonder why you had a child. Not to bash, it just doesn't make sense to me. A couple of days a week, I get.

Report this comment

sassy43082

on May 14, 2009 at 7:39 AM

You go mom... this is the way I felt too. I stayed home with my first one the first year and went about crazy... I have always said the same thing you say now. My kids are 25, 18 and 14 and trust me they are not scarred because they went to the daycare. It has actually made them more rounded because when they went to school they knew how to interact with the other children...

little.knickers

on May 14, 2009 at 7:55 AM

I'm a full time social work student and my children attend nursery and a child minder. The youngest is in nursery because i feel she needs a home environment for as long as she can (17 months old)

All three of them are happy and cared for, and in the long run I will be able to provide for them and spoil them rotten. I agree with the concept of day care as long as the child benefits too- whether it be socially, educationally or financially.

rozepyle

on May 14, 2009 at 8:25 AM

haha. im a stay at home mom and i am able to provide for my child and future children and spoil them rotten as well in more ways than one i think day care is a poor excuse.

mama-in-love

on May 14, 2009 at 8:49 AM

You go mama! A happy mom equals a happy baby. You are doing nothing wrong. Nor should you think badly of yourself for feeling the way you do! You are doing what is best for YOUR family and that is all that matters!

QTMom2302

on May 14, 2009 at 8:52 AM

Good for you momma! You are doing nothing wrong! You do what you know is best for your child & family.

I'm a PROUD FTWM and I am glad my daughter gets that social interaction at school. She's in 1st grade now but used to be in daycare as well. I'm happy that I can provide for my child and if worse case scenario something happened to my DH or his job and I was the only one working, I would be happy knowing that I still have a job and don't have to worry about where we're going to get the money to pay bills or buy food. I do spoil my child rotten and NO TEACHER or DAYCARE RAISES MY CHILD! She knows she is loved and she knows I am HER MOM!

ELnEMsMommy

on May 14, 2009 at 8:55 AM

I never planned to be a SAHM (even though now I would like to be). I went to college with the purpose of using my degree. I work with troubled kids and I feel that I make a difference in their lives as well as my own children's by doing my job. My oldest daughter (the other 2 are too young to understand the concept of work and what I do) respects me for what I do as a career. She says she wants to do my job when she grows up. She understands that there are other kids who need me too.

If we were all selfish SAHMS, who would be working? Men can't do every job there is. Besides, we are not as fortunate as rozepyle to be able to not have to assist in supporting our family. I work because I love my job. I work because my family needs me to work--well, maybe not NEED but in order to have our house, 3 cars, pay dance and school tuitions, etc. Sure, we could all cram into a small apartment and my kids could be constantly told they can't do things the other kids get to do because we don't have the money, or I could work and give them some extras here and there and have a home that is big enough for us all to have space.

I am a WOH MOM. I can work and still be a great mom!

peanutsmommy1

on May 14, 2009 at 8:57 AM

I am not ashamed to admit that I would go NUTS as a SAHM, and by knowing and admitting that it makes me a better mom for it. It doesn't make anyone a bad mom for admitting that they need adult interaction daily so they don't lose their sanity!

Come join us on full time workin mamas, you will find lots of moms who feel the same way!

MaysonsMommy805

on May 14, 2009 at 8:58 AM

Everyone needs a break now and then, but to be happy to 'be away' from your baby everyday - i dont get that. I am a FTWM b/c I've got bills to pay and I like having a career, but I would never say that I'm happy to be away from my baby everyday. I think its perfectly fine to have a career, but your post sounds like its just an excuse to get away.