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New Mom Secrets: I Wish I Never Had a Baby

by Suzanne Murray on April 21, 2009 at 8:25 AM

i hate being a momIt's hard being a new mom (or even an experienced mom to a new baby) and sometimes we do things we know we shouldn't, despite what all the experts say. But this is a safe place to share your secrets—we won't tell.

This Week's Secret:

"I wish I had my tubes tied and never had a baby. I don't like having to devote every day to doing things I have no desire to do. I'm tired of getting up in the middle of the night to find a pacifier or change a diaper. I hate not being able to spend money on things for myself. I love my baby as much as the next mom and I'd do anything for him. I just don't like being a mom. —anonymous

Question: Do you ever get sick of big a mom?
  1. Nope. I love every minute of every day. 36%
  2. One in a while. I love my baby, but I don't always love motherhood. 63%
Total Votes: 451
Voting on polls is not available on The Stir Mobile.
We all have secrets and opinions—so thanks to this brave mom for sharing her honest thoughts, and thank you for keeping this conversation nonjudgmental!

 

Past confesssions:

I Took My Baby to a Bar

I Drove My Baby Without a Car Seat

I Forgot My Baby's Name!

I Leave My Twin Babies Home Alone

I Let My Baby Wear a Dirty Diaper

 


Filed Under: mom secrets

Comments

68
  • Princ...
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    PrincessZ20

    April 21, 2009 at 9:27 AM

    Every now and again I miss how life was before DS...I miss the freedom of being able to do what I wanted when I wanted without having to worry about dragging him along or arranging for a sitter.  But I spend far far more time loving (almost) every moment I get to spend with him, and love watching him turn into a little man! 


  • Jesse...
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    JessecaLynn

    April 21, 2009 at 9:41 AM

    Motherhood is hard, no body ever said is was going to be easy.  We all have our "I quit" moments, but we love our children.  If this mom feels this bad about it maybe she should get some professional help!


  • Lanasmom
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    Lanasmom

    April 21, 2009 at 9:53 AM

    Saying " I love my baby but i wish i never had him " just doesn't make sense to me --It can't be both ways. --I love my daughter, and i love my son (even though he's not born yet) and yea sometimes motherhood is hard, its not fun when your up all night with a crying child --but to say that i wish i never had them? I would never say that, life just wouldn't be the same without them; and despite how difficult motherhood can be at times, there are those times that make it oh so worth it, and they come alot more frequently than the difficult times do.


  • rrunn...
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    rrunnerswife

    April 21, 2009 at 10:12 AM

    speaking as a mom of three wonderful children I can honestly say I get what she is saying.  I had my first baby when i was 19 and my second baby on my 22nd birthday.  after that my then hubbie and I did not have anymore because he got fixed.  I later divorced my hubbie and met a man. after a year and a half I got pregnant.  my exact words were " but you don't understand my youngest is seven" I know that motherhood isn't easy but I just got back to being able to work.   Anyway I find that I had more patience and energy when I was younger. but I sometimes don't want to be responable, sometimes I want to be selfish sometimes i don't want to be motherly I want to be spoiled I want someone to do things just for me I want to be lazy but that doesn't mean that I would have changed any of the circumstance that came to be to make me have the wonderful family I have


  • blyth...
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    blythe2609

    April 21, 2009 at 10:22 AM

    I can partly identify with the anonymous mom... before the birth of twins I'm in a job that i loved, enjoying a couplehood in a quiet home with hubby, travelling occasionally, shopping and buying stuff i love... after having them i feel strapped at home, missed my freedom and regretful about the job I gave up for the pregnancy. I only got used to the whole housewife cum motherhood when they are about 6 months, finally learning how to appreciate the babies, setting aside time for myself etc. I guess it takes time to get used to, especially for moms who didn't like children in the first place (that's me). But eventually when the babies grow up, you find that things get easier, and your freedom returns bit by bit :)


  • Agent...
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    AgentBrez

    April 21, 2009 at 10:55 AM

    i agree with Lanasmom. i dont get how you can say you wish you never had your kids but you love them. it doest make sense. i think it would be more accurate to say, sometimes being a mom/having kids/motherhood etc is hard. i mean who doesnt get sick of being a mom sometimes? its not easy but i wouldnt ever go as far as saying i wish i never had a baby.


  • auror...
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    aurorabunny

    April 21, 2009 at 11:07 AM

    I've wished lots of things out of exasperation...wished I could get a break, wished my husband would help more, sometimes wished I could just get in the car and drive away for the day.  But NEVER wished I didn't have my son.  Not trying to be hateful but I can't relate.


  • IzzeT
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    IzzeT

    April 21, 2009 at 11:15 AM

    I have been waiting to feel "trapped" by motherhood.  Honestly am surprised that I haven't had these feels yet (baby is only 4 months old).  I think it helps that I waited until 36 to have my first child.  While pregnant - I thought waiting until 36 was going to make it harder to transition from "selfish me" to "mommy me", but it hasn't.  I was actually really bored with "selfish me" and "mommy me" is a welcome change.  maybe it will stay like that or not.


  • zoeja...
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    zoejains_momma

    April 21, 2009 at 11:25 AM

    I can understand where she is coming from.. there are days that I long for not only being prebaby but also prehubby just for the freedom to go do whatever I wanted without having to plan, think or worry about anyone else.

    It wouldnt be so bad is Dh was around more(military man)  to help or wanted to help period.. maybe I wouldnt get those feelings of being trapped anymore.. who knows *shrugs*


  • Annie...
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    Anniefofannie

    April 21, 2009 at 11:35 AM

    it is always hard in a relationship where we have to give or sacrifice ourselves...there are many parents around that plainly do not put their childs needs over their own wants.  Sometimes loving your baby may mean releasing them for adoption to a couple that do not have the same option...if you really don't wish to do the work involved in raising your child. Either way,  make sure to take care of your own needs eating, sleeping even if you need to ask for help.  Don't let lack of sleep take away your joy.


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