New Mom Secrets: I Wish I Never Had a Baby


i hate being a momIt's hard being a new mom (or even an experienced mom to a new baby) and sometimes we do things we know we shouldn't, despite what all the experts say. But this is a safe place to share your secrets—we won't tell.

This Week's Secret:

"I wish I had my tubes tied and never had a baby. I don't like having to devote every day to doing things I have no desire to do. I'm tired of getting up in the middle of the night to find a pacifier or change a diaper. I hate not being able to spend money on things for myself. I love my baby as much as the next mom and I'd do anything for him. I just don't like being a mom. —anonymous


Do you ever get sick of big a mom?

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Total Votes: 451

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We all have secrets and opinions—so thanks to this brave mom for sharing her honest thoughts, and thank you for keeping this conversation nonjudgmental!


Past confesssions:

I Took My Baby to a Bar

I Drove My Baby Without a Car Seat

I Forgot My Baby's Name!

I Leave My Twin Babies Home Alone

I Let My Baby Wear a Dirty Diaper


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mamab... mamabrown87

I agree, it doesn't make since. I mean I know my youngest is 3 months...and the other 2 are only mine through marriage, but I would trade a second of any of it. Because when I joined Cafemom, it was me at home waiting everyday for the SKs to get home from school. Now I have someone here with me 24/7 that I get to know each and everyday. I mean granted it isn't always peachy king....but motherhood isn't supposed to be easy. You just have to make the best of it and go with the flow. I mean yesterday I was out with hubbie and our youngest daughter and I saw a mom with 2 girls and she was verbally abusing the youngest and whe nshe took her in the bathroom you could hear her yelling at the girl. I felt so bad. Some people need to realize that raising children is hard work and it isn't supposed to be easy. It takes work. It's just like a new job. You have to get used to what your job discription is. And if it's being a stay at home mom then it is going to take time to get used to it. You can't rush it. Because sooner or later they will be in school and you are going to wonder where the time went.

mamab... mamabrown87

I meant that I wouldn't trade a second of it.

caiti caiti

I don't agree that I wish I never had him, but I do think from time to time (mostly during stressful fussy time) how things were before I had him. But life would be so boring without him now. i love my son more than life, and I enjoy him to the fullest.

spamica spamica

When my son was a newborn I wished that he had never been born.  I was very protective of him and was terrified of something bad happening to him but I wanted to go back to the moment of conception undo what I thought was the biggest mistake of my life.

Now he is my world and I could not imagine life without him. I never even think for one second that my life would be better without him.  He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I adore him!

briNe... briNellis

 can totally relate to her completely... its sad but true. I have 2 children 5 years old an 1 month old. there are days where i could do with out being a mom. its very demanding 24/7. sometimes just drives me crazy

Blueb... Blueberryplz

Honestly, this person sounds like they would go back in time && choose not to have their bby if they could && that makes me sad for that child. I know how different my life could've been if I hadn't gotten pregnant at 18, but Jude has made me such a better person just by being here && making me change his poopy diapers && making me learn to have patients to get him to sleep in his crib. I would never say a thing like that. If you feel this way, don't have children. Sorry so harsh, but this post sounds a like more than just being overwhelmed.

delac... delaceyann

I had an extremely unexpected baby and feel the same way sometimes, mostly it was the first few months. But now that it's been almost a year I still find myself  missing girl's nights and missing time alone with my husband. It's super hard and I know how that feels, especially when you're young and not one of your friends is even married, let alone having kids! None of my friends even talk to me since I had the baby.(one of the reasons I joined CafeMom) I love my little girl to death, but I have to pray everyday that I find joy in being a mom. If I didn't have that, and my husband's amazing support - I would have let the mundane, same day stuff kill me long ago. I miss non baby life all the time, but I wouldn't trade my baby for the world.

NYWendy NYWendy

I adore my son, but sometimes I miss not having the responsibility.  I think it's normal to feel that.  However, this mom is way on the other side.  I think maybe she needs to talk to someone.  If her feelings don't go away then her child will definitely suffer in the end.  She needs to take care of herself in order to take care of her son.

justa... justanotherjen

Man, I can relate.  I've never wished I didn't have my kids but sometimes I wish I could go back to when it was just me in my tiny little husband, no kids to worry about or take care of...just me.  Things were so much simpler then.

My oldest child has a behavior problem that leaves me stressed and at the end of my rope almost every single day.  She is a handful and I have 3 other kids besides her and I'm 12 weeks pregnant and exhausted.  I told my husband the other day that if he didn't get the 8yo in to see a doctor and find a behavior specialist then I was leaving.  I can't take it any more and I was only half kidding.  That day I really wanted to leave.  I wanted to leave it all behind--the marriage, the kids, the house cleaning that comes along with living with 6 other people (we also live with my dad).  That's how wiped out I was with life in general.

But I recovered and the next day was better.  I said a lot of worse things when my kids were little and I was living off of 3-4 hours of sleep a night.  Sleep depravation can make you crazy, literally.  I've also had 2 nervous break downs since I became a mom and my oldest is only 8 1/2.

My motivation to keep going...someday they will be old enough that they won't need or want my attention every second of the day and then I can have myself back.  It's a small light at the end of the tunnel but it's there.

Layla... Laylas_Mommy09

i completly understand where you are coming from. i was there, and sometimes i revert to tnit wanting to be a mom. we didn't plan on having children till much later. she came at such a surprise, i had no choice but dive in head first. when i see my baby girl, and i hold her, or seeing her smile when daddy & i are talking to her, makes it ALL worth it. those sleepless nights, and middle of the night feedings, and changes, its ALL worth it!

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