
photo by All4my3boys
I had a great pregnancy. No health problems. I wasn't uncomfortable. I could sleep. The baby was doing great. My biggest problem? My doctor. I was going to the OB/GYN that I had been going to for about 10 years, the same one who delivered my three nieces. Everything was good until we had our labor plan talk and I realized how completely wrong we were for each other. I told her my wishes and I could tell she was just humoring me when she agreed to them. She wanted to induce me. I didn't want to be induced.
And every visit after I made that clear she'd say, "So when I induce you ..." Argh. I desperately tried to get a new doctor or midwife, but no one in all of New York City would take me. My baby was due around the holidays and I guess they already had their vacation and delivery schedules planned for that time of year.
So I had to stick with my doctor and had a labor and delivery completely unlike what I wanted—and it was solely because of her. It makes me sad that the memory of my daughter's birth is tied to that woman and what she put my husband and me through. She was a bully. Yes, I have a beautiful, healthy daughter. But I would have had one anyway. If I'm lucky enough to get pregnant again, I wouldn't go to her in a million years.
How about you? Did you like the doctor or midwife who delivered your baby?
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Comments (109)
I actually ended up really liking him--I was a little nervous at first but he definitely shined at the delivery :) I had the best experience I could have hoped for, even though I ended up with a c-section at the last minute because my baby's heart rate dropped whenever I tried to push. But he did an awesome job and I had no complications and recovery was a breeze. He was older and I liked that he had done this about a million times before :) While the nurses were freaking out and prepping me for surgery, he was calm, cool and collected.
Oh I feel for you. When I studied Bioethics, two types of doctor-patient relationships were clearly described. "Paternal-child" and "practitioner-patient" I believe the second one was called. The Paternal-child relationship is a thing of the past and doctors need to get with it and realise this. With access to information and the Internet, patients are extremely informed and can be PARTNERS with their doctor in making health-related decisions, rather than blindly following whatever the doctor says. My first OB was like this. He wanted me to "just trust his judgement" rather than explain things to me. It's my way or the highway, I'm no dummy. So at 5 months pregnant, I switched doctors. My new OB practice was great, except, they have so many doctors, I never met all of them. A complete stranger who knew nothing about me or my pregnancy delivered my child. I was very fortunate that he was a nice man and the delivery went pretty smoothly.
I liked my doctor who delivered my daughter, but not the nurse. She had absolutely NO bedside manners. I delivered my baby viginally. She was 9.5 lbs. While I was pushing, the nurse told me to push and stop making so much noise!!!!!!
She also left the room 3-4 times. Each time she left the door opened. Even the doc told her to close the door, but she wouldn't. Finally, I yelled "Shut that damn door. " Which is unusual for me to say such things. I am usually very tolerant and calm. She stopped leaving then.During that time, I was thinking "why don't you just push me out in the hall so everyone can see me with my legs up, giving birth and the baby and myself can be exposed to all the germs out there."
I am so sorry that your doctor was such a bully! Thats terrible! After all, we are the reason they are getting paid to do what they do! In my opinion, our labor and delivery doctor should be relaxed, and positive to whatever plan we have for OUR delivery. I really liked our doctor. We actually had two doctors, and we loved both. We delivered all 3 of our little ones, without having any complaints. I hope that your future deliveries are problem free!!
I liked him while I was pregnant, not so much during delivery. He YELLS at women while they're delivering. And while I tuned him out, my mom and hubby were pretty POed by it. I got yelled at for makining any sort of noise. He performed an episiotomy without asking and without numbing me (my epidural was turned off about an hour and a half before). Pretty sure I don't want him to deliver another.
I LOVED my DR with my oldest 2 but he quit delivering babies not too long after I had my 2nd because he said that he could not deliver babies that were being born to girls that were his own daughters age at the time(15) and that it hurt him too much. So for my youngest I had to find a new dr and I HATED them I never saw the same person more than once and they were WAY off on my due date and had I stayed with them my little girl would have been way too early. I ended up finding a new DR on the 7th, he ordered an ultrasound for the 8th and I went into labor on the 10th so I only saw him one time but I knew that he would be a good dr just from how nice he was and how he cared about his job. My LO was 5 1/2 weeks early and small but otherwise healthy. He thought that she was going to be smaller than that and wasn't ot exactly sure how early she was yet as he had not gotten the results from the ultrasound back because it was a weekend so he has the neonatal pedis there waiting to be safe and they had an ambulance on call to transport her if need be. If I ever have another one I will be going back to him.
I was so unhappy with the Dr that delievered my daughter I wrote a letter to a pateint advocate. The Dr that delivered was NOT my Dr, he was a partner. My Dr had left when I started pushing for a confernce in CA. The delivering doctor was so rude, he yelled at me a few times for crying while pushing (I pushed for 3 hrs) his pager kept going off and he kept telling me and my family that "They are waiting for me to do a c-section, but I am still here", the rudeness continued there is so many things that happend I don't want to bore you with all the detials. However, my Dr left that pratice to move closer to his family and I was so sad- because he would never actually deliver any of my kids. I switched to a new pratice and like them thus far, however I have yet to have another child. I guess the real test is when I get pregnant again.
i loved my ob doctor. I had one until I 7 weeks with my first then I developed a blood clot and the doctor had me come in that morning after I started bleeding and gave me painkillers and told me to go home and miscarry. Luckily I went to my new doctor that afternoon and even though I had to be monitored a lot my son was fine.
I had one of those evil nurses too though. I was so nauseated when he was born that I kept vomiting and she kept hollering at me. I got so ill and already frustrated b/c I too had lost my epidural that I threw a throw up towel at her. She left and di not come back. I don't think I saw her at all while I was there again.
With my 2nd I used the same doctor and he did my tubal. He was just an angel.
I actually ended up loving mine. It wasn't the doctor I had been going to because I started having complications and ended up being hospitalized in another city about an hour away... But, the doctor that worked with the high risk sonogramist was really great. He was honest, straightforward... and the pure joy in his voice when he delivered the baby and said "It's a boy!!!!"... it still moves me to tears. I mean, he must have delivered thousands of babies by now... but yet he was still excited... It wasn't a "yeah, it's a boy, okay next" kind of sound... and I'll always remember that. He was a really good doctor... and I'm glad I ended up in his care. He took great care of me and my son... I was very lucky to have ended up at that hospital... =)
I liked my Dr. as a person. But looking back, I don't like how he handled some things. He did nothing more than most doctors would do though! I went to him with my first 3 children, but now that I'm better educated, I won't be going back to him, or any doctor for that matter!