Dad-to-Be Thinks He Should Be the One Deciding If Unborn Son Is Circumcised -- Not Mom

Pekic/iStock.com

circumcision
Pekic/iStock.com

There are many reasons why a new parent may feel strongly for against circumcision, but is it fair for mom to pull rank when it comes to making the choice for her own child? Well, one dad-to-be doesn't think so and was seriously annoyed when his partner tried to pull the "mom card" when they weren't on the same page. She wants their son to get cut because an uncircumcised penis is "nasty and doesn't look nice." But he doesn't agree. In fact, he feels strongly that she should have no say in the decision for a simple reason: No penis means no opinion.

  • The disagreement started when these parents-to-be started talking about plans for their unborn baby boy.

    Perhaps it was the way she said it, but there was something about the way the man's partner described an uncircumcised penis that really rubbed him the wrong way. "My wife is pregnant with a boy, and I asked if we would circumcise him, and she said of course, and that an uncut penis is nasty and doesn't look nice," he wrote in a post that has since been deleted on Reddit. "However, I have an uncut penis."

    The two then debated the pros and cons of circumcision; mom argued there are health risks associated with not getting circumcised, but dad shot back that as long as they teach their son how to clean himself, he would be fine. "I argued that it would reduce pleasure and that it was genital mutilation, especially since her main reasoning was that cut penises look better," he wrote.

    But that didn't settle things.

    "Then she told me she was the mother and that it would be her choice," he wrote. "At this point, I was starting to get a little annoyed and I told her that if our son wanted to get a circumcision he could choose for himself, and she has no penis so she has no say in the matter."

    But was his argument way off base?

  • Advertisement
  • Some people agreed that his mom's attitude wasn't cool and that dad needs to stand his ground.


    "Don’t back down on this, let your child decide if they want to or not," one person wrote in the comments.

    "I'm pretty sure your wife wouldn't appreciate you telling her about vagina health and what it takes to maintain one," another person agreed. "This is absolute insanity and consider how her desire to bowl over any of your concerns or opinions because 'she's the mom' are setting a precedent for the future."

    "Your [partner] is an (expletive) for saying or implying that your penis is nasty or doesn't look nice. Like...if she feels that way why is she having sex with you?" a third person asked.

  • But other people argued that no matter what they decide, they need to make the decision together.


    "I agree, NTA for not wanting to circumcise, but the 'I have a penis so I decide' is not the way to go about it," one person wrote. "When it comes down to parenting both parents have a say, and it’s not okay to dismiss his wife altogether."

    "You’re both the parents -- so why are BOTH of you pulling this 'I’m the mother/father so I’ll decide' (expletive)?" another person commented. "Both of you need to grow up and work together. You’ve got 18 years of being a team ahead of you. Make a decision together. Talk it out instead of screaming that you’re both 'the only one allowed to make a decision.' Obviously she doesn’t get to make the only choice here as the mother, but her opinion still matters here without having a penis."

    And someone else urged the couple learn how to work together -- especially before becoming parents. "You both are trying to dominate the decision. Medical decisions should be made together. Learn to respect and listen to each other," the person added.

circumcision