5 Totally Inappropriate Baby Halloween Costumes ... We Secretly Love

baby don draperDressing up a baby for Halloween is arguably one of the biggest perks of having a baby in the first place, especially because they have no say in the matter -- and especially if you have a taste for inappropriate humor. Because what's funnier than a baby dressed up in something only an adult should wear (and maybe not even an adult)?


Full disclosure: I'm completely obsessed with dressing up my 11-month-old as Walter White from Breaking Bad for Halloween this year. I mean, come on -- what could be cuter than a tiny Heisenberg? I am the baby who knocks. It would be totally easy, too -- just a little black hat with a brim, glasses, and a drawn-on moustache/goatee! Better still if I had a toddler-sized sibling to dress up as a mini Jesse Pinkman, like this BRILLIANT MOM:

breaking bad kids

Best baby Halloween costume ever? As Jesse would say, Yeah, b*tch! (And yes, that post is from Aaron Paul's Instagram feed! Of course he loved his pint-sized doppelgänger.)

Then again, there are so many other kid-unfriendly pop culture icons that would make hilarious baby disguises. Perfect example? A diminutive Don Draper. Mom and illustrator Lori Richmond seriously knocked it out of the park with her son's Mad Men-inspired disguise:

baby don draper

Whew! Looks like baby Don's been partying pretty hard, but he's still raring to go! Unfortunately, you can't always count on Barbie dolls to stay on their feet:

baby don draper

Sometimes the bottle's your only friend, man. For real, though, if my son only had some hair on his head, I might actually give that one a try.

Another beloved TV character known for his impressive head of hair, Game of Thrones's Jon Snow, would also make a fabulous baby costume -- and even bald-headed tykes can pull that one off with this nifty wig:

jon snow


More from The Stir: 7 Baby Halloween Costumes That Scare Us to Death 

Of course, since my baby is a boy, I've been focusing primarily on male characters/celebs thus far. But little girls open up a whole new world of opportunities. Like, I can barely even think of anything more fun than taking a little Red from Orange Is the New Black out trick-or-treating:

ADELE, TARA & CASH: This little girl wins Hallowe'en. Image: Gina Lee Photographyhttps://instagram.com/ginalee/?hl=en

Posted by CHYM 96.7 on Monday, October 19, 2015

That chicken, though!! Or how about an "Even More Lil'" Lil' Kim?

lil kim

TEE-HEE!!! Other off-color girl costume ideas I'd love to try: Baby Miley Cyrus, Baby Patsy Stone (from Absolutely Fabulous -- almost like Don Draper, except in stilettos!), Baby Fill-in-the-Blank Kardashian.

Except the truth is, as much as I love these subversively witty and demonically fun baby costume ideas, I probably won't use any of them. There are grandparents to consider, after all -- grandparents who use Facebook, no less. So in all likelihood, my baby will probably end up dressed like this guy for Halloween:

Oh well. A slightly twisted mom can dream, can't she? 


Images via LoriDraws.com; glassofwhiskey/Instagram; Splash News

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