45 Reasons Small Children Actively Despise Sleep in All Its Forms

child jumping on couch

Since I've become a mom of two, I've realized something: My kids hate sleep. Actually, maybe they don't hate sleep, but they're super good at impersonating children who do. Are my little dolls the only ones who act this way? (Please, tell me no. Please.)

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After gathering up data and carefully analyzing it, I've deciphered the real reasons my 3-year-old daughter and 8-month-old son dislike sleeping -- or at least staying asleep. Here, the (wildly unofficial!) results of my in-depth research into what it is that makes small children actively despise sleeping.

My kids hate sleep because:

1. He's teething. 

2. Her brother's teething. 

3. It's too dark in her room. 

4. It's too light in her room. (The nightlight is scary.)

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5. There's a mannequin in her room who wants to tickle her face. 

6. There's no one in his room, and he wants to party, party, party!

7. He dropped his pacifier. 

8. He threw his pacifier. 

9. He thinks standing is cool. 

10. He heard us creeping into our bedroom even though it wasn't scientifically possible for us to make less noise. 

11. We just started a movie. 

12. We just sat down to eat. 

13. We were just talking about how cute they are. 

14. Her brother decided to sleep through the night. 

15. His sister decided to sleep through the night. 

16. They missed their nap. 

17. Their nap was too long. 

18. They're hungry. 

19. He's wet. 

20. He pooped. 

21. He's hot. 

22. She's cold. 

23. She wants socks. 

24. She doesn't like striped socks. 

25. The dog barked. 

26. We forgot to turn his nightlight on. 

27. We closed her door. 

28. We opened her door. 

29. She doesn't like her room. 

30. Mama's bed is more comfortable. 

31. She left Gray Bunny downstairs. 

32. She left Big Baby downstairs. 

33. She left Bitty Baby downstairs. 

34. The noise from his door woke her up. 

35. She's "not tired."

36. He's going through a growth-spurt.

37. Her brother is going through a growth-spurt.

38. She has a cough.

39. He has a cough.

40. I have a cough and despite my best efforts to bury my face in my pillow and all but suffocate myself while coughing, it wakes them up.

41. We have a big day tomorrow.

42. She's itchy. 

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43. His socks fell off, and he wants to eat them. 

44. They're overtired. 

45. They didn't sleep the night before. 

And the one reason, they do like sleep:

We need to be somewhere!

Do your kids hate sleep? Why?


Image via © iStock.com/YunYulia

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