Using a Breast Pump vs. Medieval Torture: Is There Really a Difference?

breast pump

Any mom who has ever breastfed is probably quite familiar with the little contraption known as the breast pump. It's pretty safe to say that using one for the first time is quite the experience.

Sure, the concept itself sounds easy enough, but a lot of women wind up a little blown away by the difficulty factor and learning curve involved in mastering the darn thing.


Here's a general rundown of what it's truly like to use a breast pump -- the good, the bad, and the ... weird?

At first you're totally empowered, because pumping will allow someone other than you to feed the baby. You're all, "Oh yeah. Let's get this party started already!"

Tina Fey

But then you take it out of the box and you realize you have to put the damn thing together and you're like, "Um, WTF?"

Justin Bieber

You finally get everything assembled, take your top off, and turn it on. OMG. That shit hurts like HELL.

Lea Michele

You immediately turn down the suction, breathe a sigh of relief ... and then you start to giggle because it kind of tickles.

 Steve Carrell

After getting your pump on for a good five minutes, you look down and realize there are, like, three drops of breast milk in the bottle. Annoyed doesn't even begin to cover it.

Kristen Wiig

So you put on your big girl pants and turn the suction back up while grinding your teeth to get through it.

Harry Styles

You finally manage to produce about a half a bottle of milk, which you figure is pretty awesome. You give yourself a huge pat on the back. 

Vampire Diairies

But then you look down and notice your boobs are all red and marked up, much to your disgust and dismay.

Britney Spears

If that isn't bad enough, then you figure out that you have to thoroughly clean the damn thing, tubes and all, to get it ready for the next use. You vow to go back to the boob and call it a day. This is WAY too much work and you already have enough on your plate.

Abby Lee Miller

But then you look over and see your husband feeding the baby and you realize this means you can go take a long, hot shower and enjoy it. You're all, "CALL ME THE PUMP QUEEN, BABY!!"

Christina Aguilera

Has using a breast pump been easy for you?


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