Oh, new moms. We can be a crazy bunch, can't we? But who can blame us, we just want to keep our babies safe and healthy! And okay, fine, we're a little neurotic.
Looking back at some of the things I did when my daughter was a newborn, I laugh, because wow. Crazytown, USA. But I'm happy to learn that I'm not alone in not being the only overprotective weirdo shortly after giving birth. Can we blame it on the hormones?
I asked a group of my favorite mamas if they did any over-the-top, nutty overprotective things when their babies were first born, and boy did they deliver!
Here are 7 hilariously crazy things new moms did (and, yes, now they're looking back and laughing!).
1. "I had heard horror stories of kids having horrible, throat-closing allergic reactions to eating peanut butter, so the first time I ever gave it to my daughter was in the parking lot of the doctor's office! I must have looked like such a psycho!"
2. "I physically measured the distanced between the monitor and my baby's crib. I heard that a child could get radiation if the monitor was X feet away from them. I had my husband on a ladder, balancing it on books, etc. He found me to be 'unreasonable.' Looking back, he was right."
3. "I know a mom who is INSANE. She has banned all use of cellphones around her child, and she only has wired Internet, which she will only go on for 10 minutes a day."
4. "I slept WITH MY GLASSES ON for, like, the first six months of my older son's life so I would immediately be able to see whether he was breathing in the co-sleeper next to me the second I opened my eyelids. Not the smartest thing I've ever done. Can I blame it on postpartum hormonal weirdness?"
5. "I kept an insanely detailed color-coordinated Excel spreadsheet of everything that went into or came out of my newborn son's body, which I pored over each day like it was the goddamned Da Vinci Code."
6. "I'm embarrassed to even admit this, but I actually boiled the (filtered!) water the first time my son had water. I don't know why I did it -- I guess I was scared of bacteria? After that I snapped out of it, and was like, 'What are you doing, woman?! Making homemade baby water?!'"
7. "When we took our first family trip to Florida, I wouldn't let anyone hold my daughter near the window for too long out of fear that she'd get a sunburn. I mean, obviously, you don't want to keep a baby near a window too long when it's hot and sunny, but I would physically move my father-in-law if he were holding my daughter near the window after five minutes! Cuc-koo!"
What crazy overprotective new mom things did you do that you look back on now and laugh?
Image via Christian Rauh/Instagram