Babywearing Moms Need to Put Their Children Down

Babywearers put the baby downI wore all my kids in various slings and baby carriers when they were little, and I'm very glad I did, especially when I had more than one and needed my hands free.

But as much as I understand the benefits of babywearing, it wasn't until I had my fourth baby who didn't really love being worn that I could have used the break.

Is that being selfish? I used to think so. Now I'm pretty sure it's just being smart.

I'm not any sort of attachment parenting advocate. I loved my stroller and used it as much as I could. But I do believe that babywearing is an awesome help to moms and dads who are juggling a million things. Whether it's sleep or gas or whatever else that makes babies cry, being close to their parents can really soothe them.

I've seen it work firsthand and it truly is amazing.

That said, I think it's easy to go overboard. Trust me, I totally did.

At first, you're trying to alleviate whatever's bothering your baby. But then it just gets easier to carry them than it is to listen to them cry or fuss when you put them down.

Like you, I imagine, it was really hard when my kids were upset for any reason, but especially when it was over something I knew I could easily remedy.

Pick them up and the crying stops.

I'm certainly not in the "spoil the baby" camp that seems to think if you carry babies too much, they get used to it and that's all they want. I don't think you can ever give a baby too much love.

But I do think that if babywearing interferes with your own happiness, with your own ability to catch your breath and rest your back and shoulders, then it's okay to put the baby down.

I had no idea that babies would usually stop fussing or crying pretty quickly. Sure, even 20 seconds seems like a really long time when your little one is upset, but then she'd stop and I'd feel like a whole new woman. I could shower. I could eat sitting down. I could do chores without lugging around an extra 20 pounds.

Like anything else when it comes to parenting, I really believe moderation is key. Not just for the baby but for parents as well. I don't swing completely toward crying it out, and I certainly don't feel like parents should always be carrying or, heck, even sleeping with their kids all the time. I think it's healthy for kids to fuss.

So if you're not able to find any peace during the day, if your body is aching, and if you just feel like you need a break, it's okay to put the baby down.

Those minutes or hours can make a huge difference. If there's any motto I try to remember, it's "happy parent, happy child." It certainly rings true with so many parenting issues -- including babywearing.

How do you feel about babywearing?


Image via alleexm/Flickr



To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

the4m... the4mutts

I really enjoyed this. Well written, easy to follow thought process. Kudos!

morga... morgani6904

I baby wear when it's easier than pulling out the stroller. Like if I'm just running into the store and the car seat takes up too much space in the cart to actually get any groceries. Or walking to the bus stop to get my kids off the bus.

nicki... nicki.hemingway

I baby wore two babies/toddler.  Sometimes both at once.  Now at preschoolers they are highly independent and have no clingy issues whatsoever. This article shows that you have little understanding of what AP truly means.  Also it is the reverse, Happy Child, Happy Parent. 

Anna Johnson Burdick

I think its just weird, a baby needs to explore, as I love my kids whole heartedly I can't see carrying a baby all the time, I loved when my family took mine for a while and I think the attachment parenting style would interfere in that.

Lucki... Luckicharmz

I baby wear when I need my hands free and can't be restrained by the bulk of a stroller. So shopping, cooking, taking the bus etc. the rest of the time he can play on the floor etc 

nonmember avatar Katie

I have friend who practices babywearing all of the time. She is a stay at home mom and is now realizing that perhaps too much of a good thing can do harm. Her baby will not nap unless being held, and wakes up at 30 minute intervals throughout the night. It's even effected how her baby bonds with the father as he is gone throughout the day. The baby screams if the father picks her up. I am all for bonding with your child, and I think any extreme, no matter what the direction can be detrimental. My friend acknowledges that maybe she should not have baby-wore at every moment possible.

Mom2J... Mom2Just1

We baby wear.  Amazing our kids are independant beings...stupid article.  Research has shown children are more independant when worn, given love, their needs/wants are responded to as a baby, etc.  They grow up to be very adjusted children.

swick... swickey417

This woman never claimed baby wearing would cause children to be clingy or have dependence issues, stop getting your panties in a bunch.

Jamie Perkins Freedman

Neither of my boys liked to be baby worn. My back didn't like it either. Just like everything in parenthood, not one thing works for all babies. :)

Marcie Borgula

I tried baby wearing with my third. It didn't work for me. My first two were born before a good sling came out and then my third came and I figured it would be easy. It wasn't. I'm all for the CIO method, and when done correctly it's a proven method too. I think it's all preferences. I don't think baby wearers are strange or doing it wrong, and I don't think parents who use the CIO method are horrible either. My kids are well adjusted very independent kids. My oldest is a teenager now and my fourth child is almost 7. They are happy, well adjusted, and able to cope with things. The CIO worked for us, and baby wearing may work for others.

1-10 of 16 comments 12 Last