Ah breastfeeding, there's nothing like it. Once you've finally got a handle on it, it kind of has a way of taking over, doesn't it? And it's hard to explain unless you've been there. And man, when you're there, you're THERE. Here are 20 ways you know you're a breastfeeding mother. Not that you need these reminders -- considering you probably have a baby attached to your body right at this very moment!
1. You've spent hours topless except for a My Breast Friend. Sexy.
2. You've spent several hours in front of the TV topless except for some Lansinoh. Also sexy.
3. And speaking of Lansinoh, you now know it makes the best lip balm and elbow moisturizer ever.
4. You've watched an entire Downton Abbey series on your iPhone through several feeding sessions.
5. You've worn a cabbage leaf bikini top.
6. You find out your pumped milk spilled all over the inside of your handbag, and you're more upset about the spilled milk than the ruined leather.
7. The exact shade of green of your "Hooter Hider" is forever imprinted in your mind.
8. You know that awkward moment when you notice someone trying really hard NOT to notice your boobs are leaking.
9. You've had your breasts manhandled by a nurse or breastfeeding consultant -- and it wasn't fun.
10. Your greatest accomplishment, besides giving birth, is learning to apply mascara one-handed ... while holding a baby to your boob with the other hand.
11. Except for your other greatest accomplishment, making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich one-handed.
12. You've squirted breast milk into someone's eye on purpose trying to cure their eye infection because your milk is sterile and all-powerful.
13. You hear the whirr and splunk of your breast pump in your sleep.
14. You panic when you hear other people's babies cry because it might make you leak.
15. You can tell the passage of time by how engorged your breasts feel.
16. You've memorized the graffiti on a bathroom stall, the only private space available.
17. Your husband is lobbying for equal boob time.
18. You know first-hand how "easy" it is to express milk by hand.
19. You long for the day when you get your boobs back to yourself and no longer have to share.
20. When other people cry, your first impulse is to lift your shirt.
What would you add to this list?
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