The world of parent oversharing has reached a whole new level -- or maybe just a new low. It depends on how you feel about this news. Someone has invented an app that enables your baby to take a selfie. I guess it makes noises, and your baby is supposed to crawl over, all curious, and then push the right buttons to take a selfie. CLEARLY this is something the world needed, and I'm glad someone finally stepped up and invented this app. There's just one thing that concerns me. What about all the awkward selfies? How do you prevent your kid from posting an unflattering photo? I think you know what I'm talking about.
1. Spitting up. You know, just as he's about to tap that button, he goes and upchucks all the milk he just finished drinking. Nice.
2. Failed attempt to stand. Tell your kid -- don't attempt to photograph yourself standing up until you've actually mastered it. You want to be the laughing stock of the baby Instagram mafia?
3. Droolalicious. Ew, for the love of all that is holy, make sure your baby wipes off all that drool from her face before she takes a picture. Jeebus.
4. Breastfeeding bait-and-switch. Because maybe you didn't want your nipple to be Instagrammed. No pretending to do a breastfeeding selfie only to pull off at the last minute leaving Mom all exposed.
5. Crying. Chrissake, kid. Turn off the water works before you take a selfie. No one likes a crybaby, not even on Snapchat.
6. Diaper moment. You know that look: OMG, what just happened in my diaper? Sometimes there's even ... evidence. Dude, do not. That's just gross.
7. Food face. Kid, you've got sweet potatoes all over your damn face. Clean up! Or, you know, ask Mom to.
8. Fish lips. Oh wait, you can't do that yet. Thank God!
9. Sneezer. Sneeze first, then take the picture. Trust.
10. Birth shot. Your head coming out of your mama's you-know-what. This, my friend, is the photo no one wants to see. And I mean no one -- not even you.
Would you ever let your baby try out the baby selfie app?
Image via Oleg Sidorenko/Flickr