Stay-at-Home Moms Need Nannies Too -- Seriously

mom and nannyWhen you think of a stay-at-home mom, you envision a woman who is with her child all day. Her world, is all about taking care of home and family. No job to run off too or office politics to navigate. What you don't imagine is a woman who doesn't work AND has a nanny. But that is a sweet reality for a lot of women. Recently. SAHM Esther Walker made a splash with her essay on hiring a nanny to care for her 8-month-old son five days a week so that she should do less "boring" things with her time. For her, being with her son 24-7 was mind-numbing.

I can't say I blame her. Some people think SAHMs have it so easy, but in reality, it can be an isolating experience. Esther admits that she thought she would make a lot of other mommy friends, but it wasn't so easy. They lived far away or had kids in nursery school and were headed back to work.

When my own son was born, I took an unusually long maternity leave. He was nearly nine months old before I went back to work. And those were the hardest nine months of my life. I was so overwhelmed at being a full-time mom. I kept thinking, "How do people keep doing this?" I just couldn't get my sh*t together -- the house was a mess, I was a mess. The only thing I focused on was making sure he was fed, bathed, changed, and stimulated. I couldn't figure out how to work anything else into my day. As a result, I felt so worn down.

Then something miraculous happened. Our nanny started two months before started working again. It changed everything. I had time for myself. And it wasn't like I was spending my time writing the great American novel or anything. I was running errands (but at a leisurely pace), going to the gym, getting my hair and nails done. Most importantly, I was SLEEPING. I felt renewed.

So I get where Esther is coming from. However, I know a lot of people won't understand. Or rather, will not want to. It seems so indulgent. So selfish. The thought of paying someone to take care of your kids when you don't work is even offensive to some. Of course it's not even a remote possibility for most SAHMs. It's just too expensive. Plus, they worry about what friends and family will say. But why should they be vilified for doing something that is helping them become a happier mother?

I say, if you can swing it financially, block out the haters and hire a regular sitter. Even having someone a few days a week can be sanity-saving. I know plenty of moms who do this and they wouldn't survive (at least emotionally) without it. In fact, I wish every SAHM had this option. It's not about being selfish, it's about taking care of yourself as well as your family.

Do you think SAHM deserve nannies?

 

Image via Eric Audras/Onoky/Corbis

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nonmember avatar Niki

Im a stahm, and I have a nanny/ maid that comes 6 days a week from 8 to 4. I'm lucky I live in a country where I can afford this (less than $400 a month) she does all the extra house work so I can spend time with my kids instead of washing dishes and folding clothes, she also babysits so I can go to the supermarket alone or occasionally go to lunch with my husband. It also insures there is another adult in the house I can share a joke with of have some small talk. It's definetly worth it, if you can afford it I definetly recommend it!

Bruic... Bruickson

I wouldn't go as far as hiring a nanny but I think every SAHM needs a little time to herself. My daughter is in preschool now for three hours a day and it has been AWESOME. I never realized just how much stuff I can get done around the house in those few hours she is in school. Grocery shopping is much easier now. I actually have time to do the things I enjoy on my own, like read, or I can do NOTHING AT ALL(which most sahm's know doesn't happen very often). It's been really good for my daughter too. She is so excited to tell me about her day at school and I love that she's getting to have all these new experiences on her own.

Einyn Einyn

The woman in the article only has a nanny from 9-1. I know people who put their kids in preschool for that time and nobody complains.

Frost... FrostyMelted

I don't care what other mommies do. None of my business. Not my kids. 

nonmember avatar kp

If I could hire someone for a few hours a couple times a week I would!!!! I could work out, look nice and spend a small amount of time alone or on myself. What a stress reliever that would be. In fact, I think Ill look into it ;)

Beverley Smith

As a Canadian activist for women's rights, especially for moms at home I think what would be fair would be funding for all care styles, equally. Then moms could use the money to subsidize whatever help they needed, or their own income loss. We call it equal benefit under the law. I would have disliked having a nanny but I know others who love it.

Lane-... Lane-Moja

I am a SAHM with my 2 year old. If I had the money for help...a housekeeper would be nice so I wouldn't feel so guilty about the house not being as clean as I'd like it to be.

lalab... lalaboosh

I'm a SAHM and we just got the kids in daycare 2 days a week. I've been caring for the kids 24/7 and mentally and physically ill, it's not working well. It will be so nice not to have to find someone to watch the kids while I get to my now numerous appointments. Seriously, last week I went from 1 a week to 3 or 4 a week! Now I can get work done at an appointment and maybe nap, clean, beach comb, craft, cook, socialize,shower, THE WORLD IS MY OYSTER!

Mason... MasonsMom503

If you dont want to be home with the kids- get a damned job. I love the entitlement of some SAHM that they need time to themselves. Poor ladies. I work full time then have my son the rest of the time. No breaks. Suck it up buttercups.

Bruic... Bruickson

Oh please, masonsmom. I worked full time for a while too and you can't tell me that you get no breaks. Lunch break, the commute to and from work. Those are breaks. Not to mention getting to interact with other adults. Get a job? Being a sahm IS a full time job. Working outside the home was much easier for me than staying home but I do it because it's more rewarding to me and it works best for my family. All moms deserve a break from time to time.

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