Mom Finds Super Judgy Text Message From Sitter She Almost Hired

cribAre you and the people caring for your kids on the same page? One mom found out the answer to that question the hard way. She posted on Reddit the "eye-opening text I wasn't supposed to see from a daycare provider I was considering for my daughter." At least she caught the conversation before she sent her baby there. Sounds like they weren't exactly simpatico with her kind of parenting style.

The Redditor said she's had some issues with her previous daycare center and was changing to a center she hoped would be more understanding. She admits that her family co-sleeps but added that her daughter naps just fine. And the worker she talked with seemed completely professional and didn't reveal anything that would have indicated that there might be a huge chasm between their parenting philosophies. So when she saw this exchange, she was shaken.


Ouch! Okay, maybe they're frustrated with parents whose babies don't nap well at the center. But "that's a lazy parent"?!? Even though it would be relief to know you'd escaped an awkward childcare arrangement for your family, that would sting.

It almost doesn't matter where it comes from, we just always hate being judged. But it's especially hard when it comes from someone who helps take care of your child. What other parenting choices of yours are they second-guessing? It would certainly shatter your confidence that the center would care for your child the way you want them to -- following all of your requests and instructions.

More from The Stir: 9 Babysitter Horror Stories That Will Make You Never Want to Leave Your Kids

Obviously it's hard to find a childcare provider who aligns with your parenting philosophy 100 percent. But it helps if you're mostly in agreement, and you can feel confident that they'll respect your wishes without rolling their eyes behind your back. It's just another example of how vulnerable parents feel, trusting our kids with other people.

Do you ever feel at odds with your child's daycare provider?


Images via Dennis Yang/Flickr; drpetersen/Imgur



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nonmember avatar FarmersWife

Nursing all night is lazy?! Holy cow. Obviously this woman has never nursed a child all night every night! Totally depends on the kid. We coslept and nursed all night, yet my son took 2-3hr naps at daycare no problem. It's a completely different environment and mom isn't there, they can adjust fine! Glad she didn't pick this one. They sound like jerks.... Expecting a baby to be difficult probably doesn't lead to them providing the best care.

lalab... lalaboosh

My kids don't sleep well and it's hard for a parent to deal with that. My daughter wouldn't sleep alone, I'd try to put her down and she'd wake up screaming before she touched the bassinet. I hate it when people say co sleepers are lazy. It's not lazy to want your child to actually sleep, it's the opposite.

I'm just glad my son is a bit easier, but he only naps about half an hour to an hour most of the time.

Robin Hartman

Being dedicated to nursing is the opposite of lazy. This person needs to try it and then comment.

work4... work4mickey

Sounds like these "caregivers" are they lazt ones. They're complaining that some kids only take 45 min naps? Some kids, no matter what you do, only will nap 45 minutes. And how is nursing all night lazy? It means that the child is not on the lazy cargivers feeding schedule. These caregivers are clearly selfish, self centered, and more concerned with the ease of their job than the needa of the children in their care.

heath... heather_H83

Read the studies.

Pros and cons, risks and benefits.

or simply spend time with parents who cosleep.

i choose not to because everything I've seen backs up

what this worker said.

children who cosleep suffer three times more from sleep issues and seperation


They can also be extremely hard to teach to sleep alone especially if you wait until after 6 months to start teaching them.

Just do your research, know what the pros and cons are and make the choice for your family.

But the research does back up what this daycare said.

so do most doctors.

Heath... HeatherMazzone

I'm curious about how she got these messages?

nonmember avatar kristin

I coslept with my daughter until she was 11 months old. she took 2-3 hour naps, had and has no seperation anxiety and she transitioned to her own bed just fine. No one should be judging this mom. She is doing what works for her family.

nonmember avatar laura

heather please understand just because you say co sleeping that does not mean bed sharing it simply means you are in the same room so you need to be careful what you say about before six months as health proffesionals like doctors and midwifes actually tell you to co sleep for the first six months (here in the uk) as its the safest possible way for such young children and they say you can bed share as long as guidlines are followed and you dont smoke take drugs drink and you arent overweight or a deep sleeper..and tjat apart from that its a personal choice. so you see if it was that dangerous or damaging they would tell you out right not to do it. yes children might be hard to get into bed if you.push them out all of a sudden after a yr or so but if left to do when want they ofteen choose to do it all by themselves . childcaee providers need to be kind and follow paarents leads before school age as their are many different parenting styles and none of them are wrong they are simply different . even after school age i would expect a tiny bit of le way and respect but would at this point give up alot of control as i understand schools have syructure and that my child would still have free thinking i would hope due to her upbringing x

Megan Murphies Law Shaver

I co-slept for the first month. I'd had a C-section and it was rough getting up and down all the time so he just slept with me. After that though he went into his own bed. I'm not big on the idea of co-sleeping. It's not for me but I wont knock some one who does it. My son slept fine with or with out me as long as he gets cuddles at bed time. She just lost money in her pocket by doing that. Also what's so lazy about nursing? It's lazier to bottle feed then to nurse. She must not be a mom. 

nonmember avatar April

While I have no research to back up my claims....both my kids co-slept with me. I would call it anything but lazy parenting. My kids napped GREAT during the day, but something about night.....Both my kids started sleeping when they were next to me. Both transitioned to their own beds once they started sleeping through the night completely, with no issues. My daughter was super independant other wise. Neither kid had anxiety issues or were clingy. It worked WONDERS for us. Instead of being up all night, I was able to sleep for a few hours between feedings. The kids slept more too.

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