Would you love to end the breastfeeding judgment wars, once and for all? Sick of hearing about women being shamed for every way they feed their babies, whether it's bottle feeding or nursing in public? Well, one woman is on a mission to end that war. Martine Zoer is a mom who breastfed one baby and formula-fed her other, so she's familiar with both sides. She's created "Baby Loves Milk" cards to offer support and encouragement to moms no matter how they feed their babies.
Zoer's Baby Loves Milk cards feature photos of women feeding their babies all sorts of different ways: Breastfeeding under a tree and in an open field, or with a bottle. There's even a card for dads showing a father bottle-feeding his baby. Each card reads, "Hooray! For moms like you!" (except for the dad one, of course). Photographers contributed work for the project. And proceeds from sales of the cards (sold on Etsy in sets of four) will go to the nonprofit Love Without Boundaries, which helps orphans and impoverished children in China. Zoer says of her project:
It’s my hope that moms use the cards to support rather than judge each other knowing that every mom has her child’s best interest at heart. By showing them that both breast and bottle-feeding is sweet, and loving, and intimate, and ultimately beautiful.
So I'm wondering how these cards would work in real life. I imagine you could send one to a friend or family member, out of the blue for no reason except to make them feel great. Or if you're brave, you could keep some to hand out to total strangers -- though that would probably get weird and condescending.
It's a lovely idea -- in theory. But at its most literal level, there's something vaguely absurd about handing a woman a card congratulating her on feeding her baby. You know, like there's the option not to feed that baby. (I suppose there is, but that would be barbaric.)
It's like the judgment is so terrible and pervasive, it's not enough for us to just stop judging. We have to give each other compliments. For feeding our babies. However we choose! That's so ... girly. It feels like what camp counselors do when the girls have gotten too cliquish and there have been hurt feelings.
But I still appreciate the intention behind it. The cards come from a place of love, and that's wonderful. And they give us the chance to think about all the other ways we communicate support or criticism of each other as mothers.
What do you think of the Baby Loves Milk cards?
Image via Baby Loves Milk/Etsy