As many of us know, making friends with other moms isn't always easy. Just because you have kids the same age doesn't mean you have anything else in common. I mean, that's why CafeMom was invented (ahem, ahem). But you know how it is. Trying to make a new friend with another parent on the playground almost feels like hitting on someone at a bar with a lot of the same awkwardness and anxiety. So it's not surprising that someone's finally created an online matchmaking site for playdates: Mom Meet Mom. The site promises to connect you with local moms based on your common interests, schedules, families, and personalities. I decided to give it a whirl.
After creating a profile and answering several questions about myself, my parenting style, and my family, I check out my matches and ... despite saying that finding moms who live within a mile of me was important, I got matched with a mom who lives on the other side of the country. It felt a lot like OKCupid in that you don't even KNOW me! kind of way. But I think if I just gave it more time and answered more questions, I'd probably get better matches.
But maybe they need better surveys. Here's what I'd be asking, if I were in charge of Mom Meet Mom:
1. Do you have interests outside of parenting? What are they? Do you know what I'm talking about?
2. Quick, name the current Secretary of State.
3. On a scale of 1 to 10, how sleep-deprived are you?
4. On a scale of 1 to 10, how cranky does your sleep-deprivation make you?
5. Moms who don't keep a strict schedule for their kids are:
A) Slovenly bitches for whom I have nothing but contempt.
B) Worthy of my pity -- and my unsolicited advice, obviously.
C) My kind of people.
6. Wine at a playdate is:
A) A reason to call me back.
B) A reason to call CPS.
C) An alternate spelling for the noise your kid makes while we're trying to have a conversation.
7. How long can you sustain a conversation about shoes? What if they're really cute shoes?
8. I swear I try to limit sugar for my kid most of the time. But if it's really hot outside and I bend to my child's will and buy him an ice cream cone, how will you respond?
A) Icy stare followed by hasty exit with flimsy, made-up excuse.
B) "It's all right. Really."
C) "Can you get my kid one, too? Chocolate, please."
9. Name the last book you read. Can't remember? Name the last thing you read besides The Stir or a nutrition label. Bonus points if you can name your favorite Stir writer. More bonus points if it's me. No pressure.
10. Thanks to a fortuitous combination of genetics and lifestyle, I'm thin. Can we still be friends, or will you be secretly hating me the whole time we're together? P.S. You have way better hair than I do.
11. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you like your husband? How many times/how long will you complain about him per hour? Do you mind if I have another glass of wine while you continue?
12. How do you spin your life?
A) I front like I've got a perfect life.
B) I try to present a fair and balanced perspective on my life.
C) I make my life sound much worse than it is because I'm a Debbie Downer.
D) What do you mean "spin," bitch?
How do you find new "mom" friends?
Image via Kevin Smith/Design Pics/Corbis