5 Sayings About Babies That Were Clearly Not Created by Parents

LOL 5

baby feetPeople have been having babies since the beginning of time -- hence the whole human race. And people have been using cliches for nearly that long -- hence their cliche status. So you'd think by now someone would have caught onto the fact that just about every saying about "babies" that has wormed its way into the vernacular makes absolutely NO SENSE.

I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say that the first 5,000 or so people who said these things -- ensuring their ubiquity -- weren't actually parents. And now we're stuck with them. Not sure what I'm talking about?

Here they are ... the sayings about babies that don't make a lick of sense (hey, we are talking nonsense cliches)!

More from The Stir: 30 Signs You're Not a Parent

1. Sleeping Like a Baby -- So, what they're saying is "wakes up every hour on the hour to wail at the top of his lungs?" 

2. Smoother Than a Baby's Bottom -- I'm assuming they mean a baby's bottom when it hasn't just made a boom boom and joyously squished it all over ... right?

3. Baby Soft Skin -- Two word: baby acne.

4. Stealing Candy From a Baby -- Who gives candy to babies? That's a choking hazard!

5. You're acting like a baby -- So what you're saying is I'm gurgling and cute, and you should take care of me? Gotcha ...

To paraphrase the very best movie ever made, "You keep using that phrase. I do not think it means what you think it means."

What cliches drive you bonkers? 

 

Image via Katelyn Kenderdine/Flickr

baby health, baby sleep

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teddy... teddysmama09

I've always found the saying "easy as taking candy from a baby" to be very ironic. Anyone who has ever tried to take candy out of a toddlers hand knows how rediculou this statement is. Once a toddler has said candy in their grasp, their fist clenches into a death grip and the baby develops the strength of ten men. Then, if by chance you do manage to pry the treat from the grip of death you will likely get bit, kicked and possibly lose all sense of hearing for days as a result of the blood curdling scream.  

Austi... Austinsmommy12

^^ I second that motion. The "sleeping like a baby" has always made me laugh as well. My baby DID sleep soundly, so it applied to him. Maybe the people who coined the phrase had a baby like mine?



Btw, that IS the best movie ever made. I've watched it many hundreds of times, and absolutely LOVE it! "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."

merry... merryvoice

Yay for the Princess Bride reference!

socal... socalmommy13

Teddysmama09..... Lmao! Very true though!

Phoenix Matthews

My baby was sleeping basically through the night be 3-4 months he was an angel. a babys bottom is smooth lol. as long as it isnt dirty it is. Baby skin is soft also. very very soft. It doesnt say they are talking about the face...and acting like a baby .. im assuming not all babies are gurgling and cute at every moment of the day. what about colic. what if they were referring to a baby with colic? lol some of them could apply to alot of babies.

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