If you gave birth in a hospital, the day you head home with your newborn is a moment like no other. It's as if you've been given your very own set of parenting wings, and now you are ready to fly on your own.
But. Are you really?
Sure, it's an exciting time, but holy sh*t! It's also terrifying if you've never had a child before! I mean, there's an infant in your house!
Here are the 10 stages first-time parents go through when they bring their baby home from the hospital.
For those of you who haven't yet done it, godspeed.
When you're first discharged, you and your partner are like, "Oh, my god! We're parents! This is going to be so fun!"
But then on the ride home, you're like, "Wait a minute. Is that a small child in the backseat?"
And your partner is like, gulp, "Yeah."
When you get home, the baby's still sleeping in the car seat, so you kick your feet up and are like, "Hard?! Who ever said this was hard is an incompetent idiot!"
But then the baby starts crying.
After getting the baby to settle down, you and your partner realize this is your life now. FOR-EV-ER.
You can't go out, so you decide to watch Breaking Bad, because who doesn't love Breaking Bad?
You wonder if your baby likes Breaking Bad. But then you realize, "OH MY GOD I'M THE WORST PARENT FOR EVEN WONDERING THAT! BABIES DON'T LIKE BRYAN CRANSTON! HOLLY DIDN'T EVEN LIKE HIM! WHAT HAVE I DONE?!"
You then calm down and realize that there's really no right way to parent, so you just kinda go with it. And you feel better.
And that night, or maybe the next, when you and your partner are sleep-deprived as all get out, you both realize that this was the best decision you've made in your whole life.
What was your first night home from the hospital like?
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