Court Tries Forcing Mom to Circumcise Son Because Dad Wants It Done

Heartbreaking 30

one way signCircumcision is a personal decision a family makes -- it's also often a religious one. But what happens when a couple disagrees? I'm certain that happens a lot and one partner ends up changing their stance on the matter, but what if they don't? The courts can get involved. At least that's what happened to one couple who cannot agree on whether or not to circumcise their son. One Israeli couple is currently going through a divorce and the mother says that the father initially agreed to leave their son uncircumcised, but has since changed his mind after going through divorce proceedings.

The mother is currently being fined $140 a day for every day she refuses to agree to her son being circumcised. It's been six days so far and she hasn't budged. The family has kept their identity private but the mother said, "I have no right to cut his organ and mutilate him. And the court has no right to force me to do so."

This is a rabbinical court and they have said, "circumcision is a standard surgical procedure that is performed on every Jewish baby boy, so when one of the parents demands it, the other cannot delay it."  So she's being fined and there is a chance it could end up in Supreme Court if they cannot agree.

Most parents don't reach this kind of impasse, but disagreements on circumcision happen a lot. It may even be one of the topics discussed before you get married and way before you even think about having kids with someone. It's not the kind of disagreement you want to face when pregnant ... or like in this case, going through a divorce after just having a baby.

Without putting your own opinion on circumcision into the mix, when you are going through a divorce it's still vital for both parents to agree on everything going on with the kids. This sure puts my debate with my ex over giving my son a haircut into perspective. In my case, when one parent didn't get their way (me), it didn't carry the kind of weight this situation does. However, I was strongly against my son getting his hair cut simply because my son didn't want a haircut. I felt it should be his decision to make -- not mine, not his father's. Plus, I will admit that I loved his long hair -- it never knotted, and he loved it as well. His father ... not so much. When my ex cut my son's hair without consulting me about it, I felt betrayed. My feelings, my co-parenting, wasn't considered. And my son's feelings weren't considered either. If we were instead dealing with a disagreement on circumcision, it would be much more difficult.

Should circumcision be a man's decision? One father thinks so, as does this father. Both parents must feel they just want to make the right decision for their son -- and they clearly feel very strongly about it. And whatever ends up happening, one parent is going to feel that their say in what happens with their son isn't taken into consideration, as if their rights as a parent were taken away. What an awful feeling that is.

What would you do (or have done) if you and your partner do not agree on circumcision? What do you think of this case? What should happen?


Image via ksuwildkat/Flickr

fathers, motherhood, tests & procedures, circumcision, natural parenting


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

abra819 abra819

and so let the volotile and angry debate begin....

Rhond... RhondaVeggie

Absolutely ridiculous. The court has no right to demand a parent mutilate their child. And the father ought to be ashamed of himself too. If this mom starts online fundraising she will raise enough to pay that fine for months and protect her child.

Einyn Einyn

I think the father should decide.

the4m... the4mutts

The way I see it, is that if parents disagree on this topic, then leave the child intact, and let the child decide when they're closer to puberty. Its easier to take the skin off later, than to try and regrow it.

Momma... MommaCady

I thought they believe that the Jewish blood lines flow through the mother so shouldn't she decide?

Todd Vrancic

And you took the words out of my mouth, the4mutts.  It's much more serious than a haircut, the function of hair is to grow, but removing something surgically means it's pretty much gone forever.

nonmember avatar Nobody

It is a religious practice to control people's lives. They claim it as being a symbol of giving yourself to God, and identifying to non-believer to accept responsibility of spreading the doctrine, even at personal risk. This is only part the truth; the other part is that it is designed to control sexuality. Less skin = less nerves = less sensation. The detached skin on that body part also dramatically reduces ABRASION. The reality is that a male circumcision is the SAME as a female, though to lesser degree. In the entire civilized world, female circumcisions are ILLEGAL, because it is recognized to be nothing but mutilation.

So the question to ask, is why does this practice continue? I have thoughts on that;

1) If people recognize it for what it is, they may be less likely to force it on others.
2) Revenge. You can't do it to who forced it on you, you can only do it to your own son.
3) Indoctrination. When you have an interest in continuing the practice, you will make up lies to propagate the practice, such as HYGIENE. Scare people into thinking that their son's penis will fall off if he isn't circumcised.

Fact is that the skin grows in the way that it does, because it EVOLVED that way. It protects a sensitive part of male anatomy from drying out and abrading on the environment. This IMPROVES hygiene and reduces the spread of infections through broken skin.

This vile practice should be stopped, and I applaud that woman for standing up for her son's rights.

Freela Freela

This makes me wonder how medical decisions are made in any situation that parents can't agree on.  No time to drag it through the courts when it's a quick decision that needs to be made in the ER or the ICU.  I never really considered that before.

nonmember avatar Angela

My son isn't .circumcised and would never do so at the request of the father. Let the child make the choice its his privates not the parents. Its cosmetic not necessary.

nonmember avatar Jenn

I feel that if the parents disagree on circumcision, human rights ought to be the deciding factor. As such, the matter should be left up to the child, when he is old enough to make the decision on his own. If the parents cannot agree on the age the boy can make such a decision, the age of majority rules.

1-10 of 30 comments 123 Last