So you're expecting your first baby. Congratulations! Your life will never be the same again. Say goodbye to your peace of mind. In fact, say goodbye to you mind. But hey, I'm getting ahead of myself. What we really should be talking about is all those nasty habits of yours that are sure to bring an early demise to your firstborn child. I don't mean to alarm you (I totally mean to alarm you), but are you even aware of how dangerous you are? This goes way beyond baby-proofing your home. Let's go through just a few examples.
Going to baseball games
Riding bike rides in the nice weather
Playing outside after work/school
Going for walks outside