8 Things You Do Every Day That Could Hurt Your Baby

Adriana Velez | Nov 13, 2013 Baby

booksSo you're expecting your first baby. Congratulations! Your life will never be the same again. Say goodbye to your peace of mind. In fact, say goodbye to you mind. But hey, I'm getting ahead of myself. What we really should be talking about is all those nasty habits of yours that are sure to bring an early demise to your firstborn child. I don't mean to alarm you (I totally mean to alarm you), but are you even aware of how dangerous you are? This goes way beyond baby-proofing your home. Let's go through just a few examples.

  • Tiny Hand Crusher


    Daniel Oines/Flickr

    For the love of all that is holy, will you please put the damn toilet seat down? And the lid! Jesus. You know that lid could come smashing down on a baby's fingers, right? Goodbye future concert pianist.

  • Leaning Tower of Concussions



    Raise your child around books? Sure. But please, if you treasure your child's brains, beware of building towers with your tomes. The minute your baby starts crawling you know they'll make a beeline for your books and they'll all come tumbling down, burying Junior in a pile of knowledge.

  • Dishes of Death


    David Locke/Flickr

    Don't just leave the dishwasher open like that with the soap cup filled. Your little one could just wander over and eat up that goop. And then grab a for forks and knives. Are you sure you can handle caring for a baby AND a dishwasher at the same time? Better give it some thought.

  • Laundry Lameness



    You can make a free-throw shot every time. (Well, half the time.) And yet, you can't seem to get your dirty socks to land INSIDE the laundry. Why is that? And what happens when your crawling baby encounters their toxic fumes on the floor? 

  • Cords of Destruction


    State Farm/Flickr

    Your careless ways with electrical cords shall surely bring death upon the next generation.

  • Cocktails for Cuties


    Sam Howzit/Flickr

    Mommy needs a cocktail? Mommy needs to be really super careful about where she puts her glass, because those are some really pretty colors. 

  • Remote Chance of Death


    kelly sikkema/Flickr

    Okay, first of all, it's time to consolidate all those remotes into one universal. And then you need a designated spot to keep it that's far out of the reach of your child, who will otherwise find a way to open the back and ingest those shiny, shiny batteries. By the way, did we mention you should shut the toilet seat and lid? Here's another reason why you should start doing that: Picture your remote sinking into the bowl.

  • Cancer Sticks of Chaos



    You're expecting a baby AND ONE OF YOU STILL SMOKES?!? I just... oh my God. Don't even know where to begin with that one. Oh wait, yes I do: Imagine baby sticking her hand into that ashtray and cramming everything inside her mouth.

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