Mom Puts Her Desire to Breastfeed Above Her Baby's Well-Being

Say What!? 358

baby bottleA mom who says a judge told her to stop breastfeeding her baby so the father of her daughter could have overnight visits with the child is getting a lot of attention right now and a lot of support from breastfeeding advocates. After all, breast is best, right? But isn't having two parents also pretty important?

Jessica Moser is making the rounds of the media with the complaint that a judge has given her 10-month-old daughter Jasmine's father overnight visitations that will last two days. Mom says she can't pump enough breast milk to cover those stints, but it wouldn't matter anyway because Jasmine won't take a bottle.

But it sounds an awful lot like a lady who doth protest too much.

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The only one who's making her stop breastfeeding here is her!

While it's true that many exclusively breastfed babies don't like to take a bottle, 99.9999 percent of the time, babies can learn. It's not always a fun process, and it takes some hard work, but even the La Leche League -- pretty much the biggest breastfeeding advocacy group on the planet -- acknowledges on its website that sometimes babies have to drink expressed breast milk from a bottle. They offer tips on making it happen, even suggesting that older babies who can sit up might be better off going right to a sippy cup.

Not to mention, increasing supply can be done. La Leche League offers plenty of tips on that too.

It makes a great headline to say that a judge is interfering with a mom's right to breastfeed, but the devil, as they say, is in the details. There are options here for this mom and her baby to keep breastfeeding going. They're just not options this mom seems willing to hear.

Unfortunately for any mom who is breastfeeding and dealing with a custody battle, this is something they have to face. Pumping, bottle feeding ... that's what sharing custody of a child is all about: making compromises for the best of a child. Exclusive breastfeeding is a great thing, but there are ways she can increase her supply and ways to teach this child to take a bottle. They may not be super easy, but then neither is being a dad who hasn't gotten to spend one-on-one time with his baby girl because the child's mom is using breastfeeding as a weapon.

Ladies, breastfeeding your kids is important, but it does not trump a child bonding with their other parent. Sharing custody in and of itself is a compromise. YOU get the benefit of shared custody too. So now you need to give a little something to the other side.

Do you share custody? How do you handle breastfeeding your baby?


Image via Neeta Linda/Flickr

breastfeeding, child custody


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Coles... Coles_mom

Dads don't need overnight visits while a baby is breastfeeding!!!!

Mary229 Mary229

A 10 month old child should be eating some solids in addition to breast milk.  A 10 month old child is also old enough to learn to drink from a sippy cup, which is the route I would go in order to avoid nipple confusion.  A 10  month old is also able to drink water in addition to milk.  If the mother wanted to make this happen, she could.  It seems that she is using this as an excuse to keep the child from having visitation with the father.

Ashley Littlejohn

What if it's not a supply issue? What if, like many women I personally know, her body does not respond well enough to pumping to have the bottles for the child?

nonmember avatar Taxsavvyjessica


How ignorant a comment. Fathers are just as important as mothers at all stages of a child's life. This mother should be so lucky to have a father who is interested in being a part of his daughter's life. If they can work together this child will have memories of her two parents that provided her with love just like children of parents who stayed together.

Smoke... Smokeygirl

My 11 month old used to take a bottle- now he takes two sips and tosses it across the room. He only drinks from the source. He'll drink water from a sippy, but not milk. I think it is wrong to force a baby under one to leave their nutrition and comfort for the dad's convenience. Heck- we don't know if baby will sleep without nursing, my son won't... I really strongly feel that a judge should not be the one saying that the baby will just have to learn to take a bottle or formula.

Jennifer Brown

why does the dad have to have the chld over night. im sure the baby would rather be with her mother

PeterandEmily Fitzgerald

My son never took a bottle no mattter how hard I tried and I could never pump enough. Very common problems.

Bridgett Cash

@Cole's mom: You are wrong. Bonding with the father and spending time overnight with the father is more important that continuing to breastfeed a 10 month baby. You sound like one of those women that would also use any excuse in the book to keep your baby's father out of the picture. Its not just the mother who is the parent. The father has just as much rights to his kid as the mother does.

hutch... hutchfam2007

At 10 months my son was still not taking solids well due to texture issues and refused and gagged everytime a bottle was offered. I would say starting overnight at a year would be a good compromise.

lalab... lalaboosh

A more accurate title would be father puts his own needs ahead of baby's.

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