What the Top 5 Sanity-Saving Baby Products Should Really Be Called

Motherhood has a funny way of shifting our former judgments on other parents into the ability to make fun of ourselves. I can’t be the only one that’s referred to playpens as “toddler jail,” right? Right? Just keepin’ it real, folks.

Let’s face it -- there are some baby products out there that non-parents just can’t understand. Take the playpen example. Maybe some people can’t understand why you wouldn’t just wear your baby, or let them play nicely on the floor. The answer is that it’s freaking hard to open the oven when you have a baby strapped to your chest or crawling rapidly toward the door. So into baby jail she goes, and that’s what we call it, because if you don’t keep a sense of humor about things, what’s the point?

Here are five totally misnamed (and renamed) baby products that are parent lifesavers.

Do you have any to add to the list?


Image via Joshua Dalsimer/Corbis

baby activities, baby first year, baby gear, baby toys, baby sleep, newborns, pacifiers, play, time for mom start slideshow


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Blues... Blueshark77

Thanks to the exersaucer I can go to the bathroom without my baby freaking out about being alone in her room for 2 minutes. When her dad gives her a bottle he says "how about a bottle of shut up", totally in a joking manner (inspired by the Happy Gilmore movie). 

Rosas... RosasMummy

I called play pens the baby cage. love the circle of neglect lol x

dizzl... dizzledaz

Wow. Circle of neglect, because it's safe AND possible to cook a meal while holding a child. Same goes for the so-called lazy chair. Both of the it's gave me the ability to put down my colicky, severe acid reflux baby and cook / clean. The baby leash, I have one and used it with my 3.5 year old while I was pregnant with my now 16 month old. Because what woman, later on in their pregnancy can or wants to chase after a 2 year old.... But, please, judge on.

Nicol... Nicollynne

I've always called a pacifier the "Mute Button"

femal... femaleMIKE

I called the pacifier the "cork".

femal... femaleMIKE

I called the pacifier the "cork".

Simon... SimonzKedge

We called pacifiers "mute buttons" or "plugs", cribs/playpens were "baby jail" and infant seats, "baby buckets". Not really an item, but we called changing time, "baby torture time" because 2 of my kids hated it and would scream bloody murder until you were done.

Tiffany Dicke

We call pacifiers "stoppies"!

Marcia Gardner

When our twins were young we purchased a colorful baby playpen made of pannels.  We called it "Baby Jail" 

nonmember avatar Ashley

It sounds to me that you have no children because you're absolutely clueless on the use of some of these items. I put my baby in her chair just so I can squeeze a 5 minute shower into my day. I also have a 1 year old who refuses to be held or sat in a carrier so I think putting a "leash" on my child is more responsible than letting her run wild. And just because you become a parent doesn't mean you can't continue doing things you enjoy. So, if the baby is happy in a play chair then I would say it's none of your business if the mom chooses to read a magazine!!!

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