Dads Are WAY Cooler With Each Other About Parenting Stuff Than Moms

LOL 13

david serchukI don’t know why, but from what I’ve seen, dads are about 1,000x chiller with one another than moms are. While you guys are all judging one another on just about everything -- breastfeeding, sleeping, vaccinations, whatever -- we pretty much give the other dads we see high-fives and nod. You’re doing your best, dog. I get it.

All you have to do is look at the comments section of any parenting site. (Maybe even this one? I won’t say.) If it has to do with birth, schooling, or, again, breastfeeding, women are all up in one another’s business. 

I just don’t see that from dads. You know how many negative comments and/or judgments I’ve gotten from my guy friends about my parenting? Absolutely zero. And I’ve been a dad for five years! I’m pretty sure I’ve made at least a few big mistakes in that time. In fact, I know it. I’ve even told some of my friends about these mistakes. Their response? Either they don’t care, or they understand, because they’ve made some mistakes too.

Do we dads set the bar too low? After all, we’ve heard a lot about the ongoing crisis in fatherhood. You know, deadbeat dads, dads barely in their kids’ lives, all that stuff. Maybe there wouldn’t be as many dad-related problems if we got a little preachy with one another? I can’t say. But we’re just not. (Maybe I’m just lucky all my friends are good dads?)

Where does this lack of parenting judgment come from? One guess: Dads just aren’t as fascinated by the families of their dad friends as moms are. Example: I’ll be on the phone with a friend, someone I haven’t spoken to for a while. At the end of it I’ll get off, having had a great time, catching up. My wife will ask how my friend is doing, and whether his pregnant wife finally gave birth. My answer: I don’t know? This always blows her mind.

But we were talking, you know? About stuff we always talk about: politics, comic books, maybe sports, stuff we did in summer camp in 1987. Timmy taking the bottle doesn’t always make the cut.

But if we did discuss our kids I’m pretty sure we would have said we each were doing a good job.

Why do you think dads aren't as judgmental of other dads as moms are of each other?

 

fathers

13 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

nonmember avatar leslie weimer

I disagree. I'm really go easy parent. Everyone makes mistakes. We are not perfect. We learn from our mistakes.

erica-3 erica-3

Women are always judged way more harshly, especially by other women. About everything. Dads being super involved is still a relatively new "thing", so a lot of moms are just satisfied with dads keeping the kid alive and the house isnt burnt down.The attitude that"boys will be boys" is still very common too, so men get away with more.

Brain... BrainyMommy

Women take too much of their self worth from parenting and hence take the topic way too seriously. Men approach parenting with a much healthier and better attitude.

jalaz77 jalaz77

Men let things roll off their back and don't take things personally the way women do. You say something to a woman they take it personally, automatically get defensive. Thankfully I surround myself with awesome women who don't do this. I just see this mommy war thing on the Internet.

jalaz77 jalaz77

Oh also, it's the extremists who live in a bubble that really are the problem, their way is best kind of attitude.

SNAPA SNAPA

My mind is blown too...you didn't ask your friend how his wife was doing or if she gave birth?  ***Gulp***...my husband does the same thing---I have to damn near show him cue cards in the background to find out anything "juicy" about his friends and their lives...and when he gets off the phone without asking anything of importance--I get a blank stare or the crickets start chirping when I ask, "Well, how's so-and-so doing?"

nonmember avatar Heather

i never realized my husband is like that with his friends until we got together with a couple we used to spend a lot of time together with until we moved. It had been about 8 months since we had seen them but my husband still talks to his friend almost every day. Well in those daily phone conversations he neglected to ever mention that i was pregnant... so if you can imagine how awkward that is for your friends to come to your house realize your 7 months pregnant.

mrs.h... mrs.hartman12

Lol, its the extremists.....,,I am considered an extremist yet I find myself not caring what other people do so long as it doesn't effect me.



NativeAmerican HandmadeItems

Thank goodness I never hung around with females then hahah I have two brothers and 25/29 of my cousins are guys too. My mother had 4 brothers and my dad just had his one younger sister, but she had two boys. My grandmother, same thing. The only two women in my life growing up was my grandmothers, my mother, and my aunt. Other than that, my childhood consist of NES, SNES, Sega, Atari, N64, PS, hotwheels, star wars, rebuilding cars with my dad, helping my older brother durby race and race on his dirt bike, 4 wheelers, playing sports, climbing trees, legos, action figures, etc. I was never ever into barbies or dress up lol and everyone always says I'm pretty 'chill'. :)

1-10 of 13 comments 12 Last