My wife is expecting twin boys (we've dubbed them Hans and Frans for now) and the news kind of rocked our world, given we already have two kids. We were trying for more but weren’t looking to double down, exactly.
Of course we’re excited to be expanding our family, but impending multiples has forced me to admit and rethink certain pre-conceived notions I held about the multi-zygotic subset of our species. Such as:
- People expecting twins inspire pity. Whenever someone tells you they’re expecting twins, especially if you’re a father yourself, your first thought before congratulating them is always, “Wow. You’re screwed.”
- Identicals are creepy. Two (or more) people who look and act like each other makes humanity feel like something you can run off at Kinko’s.
- There are too many twins in the world. Twins used to seem kind of cool and unique, like iPhones. Now they seem ubiquitous and hackneyed, like iPhones.
- It’s us against them. When you’re expecting a single baby, it feels like you’re waiting for a special invited guest. When you’re expecting twins, it feels like you’re preparing for a rock band that’s planning on staying at your house.
- Everyone assumes it was IVF. Which makes some people look at you like, “Had to cheat, huh?”
- Rhyme-y or sound-alike twin names are annoying. Oh, it’s Jayden and Jacob? Lucy and Lacy? Brian and Brianna? Why don’t you just go ahead and name them Thing 1 and Thing 2?
- Dressing twins the same is cruel. Nothing quite says “If we lose one we have a spare” like matching outfits.
Image via drakegoodman/Flickr.