7 Things People Really Think About Twins

LOL 21

twinsMy wife is expecting twin boys (we've dubbed them Hans and Frans for now) and the news kind of rocked our world, given we already have two kids. We were trying for more but weren’t looking to double down, exactly. 

Of course we’re excited to be expanding our family, but impending multiples has forced me to admit and rethink certain pre-conceived notions I held about the multi-zygotic subset of our species. Such as:

  1. People expecting twins inspire pity. Whenever someone tells you they’re expecting twins, especially if you’re a father yourself, your first thought before congratulating them is always, “Wow. You’re screwed.”
  2. Identicals are creepy. Two (or more) people who look and act like each other makes humanity feel like something you can run off at Kinko’s.
  3. There are too many twins in the world. Twins used to seem kind of cool and unique, like iPhones. Now they seem ubiquitous and hackneyed, like iPhones.
  4. It’s us against them. When you’re expecting a single baby, it feels like you’re waiting for a special invited guest. When you’re expecting twins, it feels like you’re preparing for a rock band that’s planning on staying at your house.
  5. Everyone assumes it was IVF. Which makes some people look at you like, “Had to cheat, huh?”
  6. Rhyme-y or sound-alike twin names are annoying. Oh, it’s Jayden and Jacob? Lucy and Lacy? Brian and Brianna? Why don’t you just go ahead and name them Thing 1 and Thing 2?
  7. Dressing twins the same is cruel. Nothing quite says “If we lose one we have a spare” like matching outfits.

 

Image via drakegoodman/Flickr.

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Coles... Coles_mom

Brian, I'll give you some credit man...funniest writer on this ship. :)

flood... flood1971

Very funny, very true. But let me say, I have 10 year old identical nieces. With names that don't rhyme and who don't even go to the same school. Or wear the same outfits. Get a 'natural' batch in the family every other generation. But two distinct personalities. Like every human should be able too they are allowed to grow up as individuals. But as is with multiples they have a certain bond. It is so great to witness. It's a lot of work, but so rewarding. Congrats to the writer, it's a great ride!

Choco... Chocodoxies

That was the funniest thing I have ever read on The Stir. Good job! 

Ashley Kissinger

This was remarkably well written.  You pulled off a little bit of snark by cushioning the fall with lots of humor.  I loved it!  I'm pretty sure most of the sanctimommies won't even jump you.  Please get this guy to write more articles Cafe Mom!

MammaSam MammaSam

I'm dating a twin. People get them confused all the time but I've always (even before we were close) noticed distinct differences. They do share a great bond. They just get each other. In a lot of ways they are similar but they are also very different in others. There's a possibility we could have twins, and I won't lie, I'm a total dork about it sometimes and kinda hope it happens. Hes a twin and his dad is a twin and his twin brother only had one baby. Likely :) I understand how parents are a bit scared about it, but I figure I've raised one this far fairly well, and worked in childcare for a good deal of time, I can handle whatever life throws my way.

nonmember avatar rachel

IVF is not cheating. I did IVF 4 times and only got one son. Don't trivialize the pain and heartache people go through to get to even GET to IVF.

nonmember avatar rachel

IVF is not cheating. I did IVF 4 times and only got one son. Don't trivialize the pain and heartache people go through to even GET to IVF.

nonmember avatar Amanda

Had to cheat!?!?!? Are you kidding me? Who would choose to spend upwards of $20,000+ to try for a CHANCE to get pregnant? People who do IVF are not cheating. Making a baby for some is a painful expensive endeavor and it pisse me off when others are snide or condescending.



And...congrats on your twins! What a miracle, how ever they were conceived!

Ally Swarrow

You're one of the best writers I've seen on here. I learned a new word:ubiquitous. I'm a twin, and you're very right about a lot of what you stated in this article.

mande... manderspanders

IVF is cheating and playing God.  You wouldn't be so offended if it weren't true.


Great article, too bad there will always be haters about *something*.

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