The 11 Stages of Sleep Deprivation in New Parents

LOL 29

crying baby You've seen evidence of zombie-like, bleary-eyed new parents, and you heard the ever-so-annoying chorus of "You think you're tired now, just wait!" when you were pregnant, but it's true. Nothing can prepare you for the sleep deprivation you experience the first few months of your infant's life.

Except maybe this.

Here are the 11 stages of sleep deprivation new parents will experience. This is a serious matter, guys.

At first you're like: Parents have been doing this for millions of years. I goooot this.

high five

Then you're like: Okay, I'm getting a little tired.

britney spears

Then you're like: Dude. I'm really tired.

duck

Next, you start getting punchy.

will ferrell

Then, eventually, you hallucinate.

cat

You and your partner start turning on one another.

simba

Then you both come to believe that your child is evil and trying to kill the two of you.

girl

 Then you just accept it and are like, "Whatever, man."

whatevs

Then, one day, your baby sleeps through the night and you're like this: kevin bacon

Then maybe this:

princesses long island

And then the next morning, you and your baby look at each other and are like:

will ferrell

Is this what sleep deprivation was like for you?

 

Image via Critical Moss/Flickr

baby first year

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jalaz77 jalaz77

LOL. Pretty funny. Yes. I am still in the "I will destroy you" phase. This 4th doesn't sleep as well as the last 3. Last 3 slept AWESOME, I was spoiled. Love the boy so much but it's hard.

nonmember avatar charper

If anyone is having trouble with their babies sleeping, please check out the website http://www.troublesometots.com/. It is awesome!! It helped me so much and should be required reading for all new moms. Hands down the best site I have come across! (And I promise it is not my website and I don't get paid to make these comments ;) )

mande... manderspanders

We bounce between turning on each other and whatever

Histo... HistoryMamaX3

I feel like the duckling this morning...

jayha... jayhawk00

I got really lucky. My son slept 6 hours straight from the minute he was born.  The nurses kept trying to get me to wake him up to feed and I was like no way!  If he's hungry he'll wake up! And he only lost an ounce by the time we left the hospital.   Pure luck. I'm scared to have another.

mande... manderspanders


@jayhawk:  newborns are notorious for sleeping through feedings.  they NEED to be woken up in those early days, especially if you are breastfeeding.  So what if he only lost an ounce in the hospital? The percentage of weight lost at the one week appointment is more telling...


at 7 weeks, I let my baby sleep if he is actually going to sleep...if he sleeps through a normal feeding time, I pump. Even in the middle of the night.  Fortunately, it is getting better but the sleep deprivation makes it all feel like an eternity.



jessa... jessasmamma

The first month of my daughters life was BRUTAL. She was "underweight" when born @ 5 pounds 14 ounces. Her doctors insisted we wake her up every 2 hours to feed her (which, by the time she was changed, burped and back in bed - was about an hour in between each feeding). I remember at one point, being so sleep deprived that I went to heat up some leftovers and never even put the food in the microwave. I started a load of laundry without ever putting the clothes in the washer. I was beyond exhausted and stressed out. And my daughter wasn't having it either. She was fussy and would fall asleep 2-3 minutes into feeding. After a few weeks, I listened to my instincts. I let my baby sleep. She slept for 3.5 hours and ate SO well when she woke up. I followed her schedule and she would eat every 3.5 - 5 hours. Within 3 days of listening to her needs and going off of her schedule, she stopped fussing so much, she actually was awake a little throughout the day, she started gaining weight like she needed to, etc. Some babies thrive off of having a set schedule, some don't. My daughter did SO much better when she actually got to sleep like her body needed to, etc. 

jayha... jayhawk00

Manders, that is all he ever lost.  I have been around and taken care of babies my whole life.  I come from a HUGE family.  I know what I am doing.  Good attempt though.

Chris... ChristyM123

Literally laughed out loud at the last stage! 

nonmember avatar Lindsay Rohan

Yes that is my life every time we add a new one into the mix. my husband and I were Simba and Nala last week. Last night we agreed that this precious one is out to get us. I have never laughed so hard reading this. Thank you Cafe Mom!

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