10 Annoying Things In-Laws Say & Do After You Have a Baby

stop signIn-laws. Let's talk about them for a minute here. Even if you're like me, and have been blessed with the most wonderful, kind, understanding in-laws (who live many, many states away), there's bound to be a few eensy things that get on your nerves from time to time. Especially when a baby comes into the picture.

It seems like there are a lot of people out there who can get annoying once you have a kid -- your own parents, sanctimommies, your next door neighbor with the barking dog -- but there's something about a comment from your mother- or father-in-law that can be just a little more annoying.

Here are 10 annoying things in-laws say and do once you have a baby.

1. "He/she looks just like [your husband]." It's funny. Some people think my daughter looks more like me, others think she looks like a combination of my husband and me, but my in-laws? According to them, there isn't a single gene of mine in my daughter's body.

2. "He/she is 100 percent [their last name]." Okay, if there are two parents involved in the creating of a new life, said new life can't be 100 percent anybody. There may be things baby does that are similar to one family, but 100 percent? Come on now.

3. "He'll/she'll be fine. Don't worry." This is often said before leaving baby unsupervised with in-laws for a period of time, and while it's often done to comfort, it also can be done in a bit of a condescending way. Like, silly parent, we know what we're doing. "Well, I know the baby will be fine. But let me just give you these directions first, because then she'll really be fine. Thanks!"

4. "I never did that when my kids were babies, and they turned out fine." My mom smoked while she was pregnant with me, and I'm okay. Doesn't mean I want to replicate that.

5. Communicating through the baby. There isn't necessarily a specific comment for this one, but I've seen this done many times by various in-laws. Instead of telling you something directly, the comment is said -- often in a baby voice -- to the baby. "Tell your mama you need to come visit us next time." "Daddy likes to coddle you, but we're going to teach you some manners one day." Passive aggressive much?

6. Taking pictures like they're Mario Testino. We get it, grandparents heart photos of their grandkids. But just saying, we could do without the paparazzi first thing in the morning when we're barely awake and have no bra or makeup on.

7. Thinking they know best. Yes, we know that our in-laws and parents have much more experience than we do raising kids, but fact is: Every baby is different. What worked for their kids -- 30 years ago -- doesn't necessarily work for ours. Please, respect that.

8. Telling us he/she is fine when the baby is crying. Actually, the baby isn't fine. Which is why they're crying.

9. Telling us baby is "having fun" when it's well past their bedtime. Sure, they probably are having fun. But you know who's not going to have fun when it's time to put the little one down? Us or the baby!

10. Asking when they're going to get another grandchild. Cool your jets, guys! You just got this one!

(And, remember, your partner probably feels like this about your parents, so try not to take it out on them!)

What annoying things do your in-laws do?


Image via thecrazyfilmgirl/Flickr

baby first year


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nonmember avatar Kristi

I was induced and long story short it ended in a c-section over 24 hours later. Baby was born healthy (thank God) and all went relatively well until Gma found out the official arrival time, "he was born when? That can't be right because I didn't get to see him until an hour and a half later!!" So sorry my recovery room time interfered with your hopes and dreams of holding MY BABY within 30 seconds of exiting the womb!

linzemae linzemae

My mil asked "where does she get her olive tone?" Have you not noticed my olive skin tone the past 8 years since I have been with your son?! "Where does she get her height from?" Again, my moms side of the family. It takes 2! I had a big part in making my daughter!

nonmember avatar Kaytee

My MIL was pretty bad, but she's deceased now so I'll let that one lay. My FIL took the cake though, he came to see my daughter the day after we got home from the hospital and stood in my living room and actually asked me if he could "smoke in here". Depends, you want to leave here on your own two feet or on a stretcher?

nonmember avatar April

Mine likes to criticize me by telling my children to tell me things. Like "go tell your mommy she needs to clean house better" but she will follow them to me and stand behind them. The last time she did it I said "Oma needs to act like a grown up and tell me herself if she has a problem, next time Oma tells you to tell me something, just say "please speak to mommy about that"". Since she was, again, right there, I stopped that one. She also likes to get on me for the kids not wearing socks. It's 100 degrees out and they are wearing flip flops or sandals. I'm NOT putting socks on them. When we first had my daughter, she would try to tell us how to do EVERYTHING, from dressing her appropriate for the weather and on.


#1:The baby will look more like the father the first few weeks after they are born.It's natures way to assure the the male that the child is his.Of coarse now there are blood and dna tests, but that was how it was sorted out way back when.

April... AprilJune

My MIL is guilty of the first two (so annoying! Give me SOME credit!) and the bedtime one. But, as much as people hate having their in-laws too close or coming over all the time, I am in the opposite position. She lives 20 minutes away and sees my kids every 3 months or so. Even when my husband calls her and asks her to come over or says the girls are asking for her....she is too busy (she has been unemployed since our oldest was born....how busy can she be?!) or she cancels her visit at the last minute (try explaining that to a 3 year old, until we learned not to tell her at all). Anyway, that is what annoys me most- that she can't make time for her grandkids. Rant over. Sorry!

laure... laurenemb

Prima487 - really? I never knew that! Cool fact :)

nonmember avatar RobinR

My MIL smoked while pregnant and said she'd do it the same way again (BRILLIANT, I know), let her kids cry, and has a "Poof poof" attitude in general). While on a rare date with my hubby, I got a call from my 14 yr old son saying that my baby girl was crying and my in-laws weren't doing anything. When my dd was born, my in-laws HAD to stay with us for 3 wks (they're from Fl.) After having a c-section, spinal headache, and not appreciating that I couldn't walk around my home comfortably letting it all hang out, when we had our next baby I told my hubby that they (his parents) can come before the baby is born, even stay at our home while I'm in the hospital, but when I come home, they go home. They didn't like it, but oh well, I did! : ) (Hubby didn't like the idea at first, but when I asked if he'd like my parents hanging around for 3 weeks after he'd had surgery, he got the point...) When told about any new information on how things can be safer/better for babies or children, my in-laws "poof poof"/balk/make fun of it. So I just don't bother anymore, I'm done casting my pearls before swine : )

jalaz77 jalaz77

Prima-my hubby told me that after our first was born. Pretty cool thing. They say moms have that bond in the beginning this helps dad bond too. Kind of a cool fact.

My MIL always did #1 too. I want to say I did have sex with your son and he needs my egg to procreate. She is a moron though. Seriously. She says where did the kids get that hair color, where did they get those curls? Hmm not you or your son. Every kid we go through this. I was SHOCKED when she said this last one looks like me. I about died!! She also feeds then junk EVERY TIME she is around. There is a reason you are a type 2 diabetic lady.

wamom223 wamom223

I am really hoping your in-laws don't see this or the next trip could be even more uncomfortable.    I would love to see their blog on the annoying things you did while on this trip.  I don't have a perfect relationship with my in-laws but this just came off as petty, especially when you say your lucky to have them and they live far away.  Maybe this was suppose to be cutesy but for me it just came off as petty.  You kind of sound like my sister-in-law who no one likes because she is such a shit to my mother-in- law bitching about every little thing. 

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