I think most of us are believers that Kris Jenner is the puppeteer behind the marionette dolls that are the Kardashians. I mean, I know I wouldn't be shocked if it came out that each daughter is instructed to listen to some sort of chanting CD that contains subliminal messages from their mom every night while they sleep. But this latest rumor -- the rumor that claims Kris has instructed Kim not to leave the house until a price has been reached for the first photos of baby North West -- is rigoddamdiculous. Forcing a brand new mom to stay inside at all times? That's torture, Jenner. You know. I know it. The American people know it.
We heard rumblings a few days ago, saying that Kim is starting to go a little stir crazy, being cooped up at home with the baby. But we also heard rumblings that the reason for said cooping was because, being a Kardashian, she doesn't want to risk not being able to cash in on her own photo. But now sources are saying that Kris is the mastermind behind this whole plan. She's supposedly telling her daughter to stay inside, because if the paps get a pic of her before the Kardashians can sell one to Us Weekly or wherever, they don't get any richer. Which, in Kris's mind, is worth her daughter's torture.
As someone who was pretty much commandeered to her house shortly after giving birth, I can attest: It sucks. I think it rained for 40 days straight after I had my daughter -- and I lived in Brooklyn, where you walk everywhere -- so it was just me and a crying baby in a 700-square-foot box for over a month. It was awesome.
Now, clearly Kim's experience is much different than mine, as she lives in sunny LA and her refrigerator is probably 700 square feet, but the point is, you need to get out -- even if just to the store or for some fresh air -- when you're a brand new mom. You really do start to feel a little crazy after a little while. You're sleep-deprived. Hormonal. And you're tired of looking at the inside of your house.
Not sure how much longer Kim is going to be able to put up with this, Mama Kris. And if this story proves to be true, isn't it a little torturous for you, watching your child suffer like this? Sheesh.
Did you go stir crazy after having a baby?
Image via Guise Archives/Flickr