When I talk to other parents of only children, the topic always seems to turn to the latest string of people who have attempted to nose their way into our uteruses (uteri?). It's a cold hard fact: if you are one and done, at least a handful of people have insisted that you have another child. And I do mean insisted!
Since deciding we would stop right here, people I barely know have gone to great lengths to explain to me just why it is that I need to giving my daughter a brother or sister. Lucky for you, all these experiences have given me something extra special: a guidebook to how you should respond when someone tells you your child needs a sibling.
Get ready! This is going to be fun (I promise):
1. OK! Let's make a deal ... you give me the $200,000 to raise it, and I'll do it. I take cashier's checks, but I'm sorry, I don't have a credit card reader.
2. OMG, you mean you can tell I'm pregnant already?! I thought I just looked fat. [Bonus if you have someone with a camera to catch them getting all shifty-eyed sneaking peeks at your belly].
3. You're absolutely right, she does need a sibling. I'll go pack her bags so you can take her to your place tonight. Will she be bunking with your daughter, or will your son be giving up his room?
4. [Leaning over and whispering] Well, I guess it's a good thing I'm ovulating right now.
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5. I didn't now you were running for Congress! [And then when they start protesting] Oh, well, I just figured since you were so concerned about what's going on in my uterus you must be starting up your political career ...
6. You know, I thought that. But so did Cain's parents. And you know what happened to Abel, right? [wink]
7. Well, you know, we tried that ... [hang head and let lower lip droop out]
8. Launch into diatribe about your rat bastard ex-husband [if you're actually still married, this is even more fun].
Do people get ultra personal with you about having another baby? What do you say?
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