10 Places to Never Change Your Baby's Diaper

Rant 171

Did you hear about the Denver parents who made news for changing their baby in a Starbucks seating area after they found no changing table in the restroom? An employee reportedly offended them by asking them to clean up, the dad angrily poured his coffee on the floor in retaliation, and things somehow escalated to the point where police were called to calm everyone down.

The parents are still unhappy about the way they felt they were treated by the staff, but I'm mostly stuck on the fact that they thought it was their right to change a diaper in a public eating area. Sure, it would have been nice to find a changing table in the restroom, but ... well, come on. That's what diaper pads and a little parental ingenuity are for.

Dealing with an emergency diaper situation when you're away from home is no fun, and I'm pretty sure we've all been there. I'm sympathetic to the challenge, but I still have to draw the line at changing a poopy diaper in these 10 obnoxious locations.

1. A table in any restaurant or coffeehouse or bar. Dude, that's just wrong. I know, I know: the bathroom floor is so gross. Well, so is inhaling a noseful of someone else's feces while you're eating dinner. Just saying, you can always use a changing pad -- your fellow patrons can't escape the diaper smell.

2. Your seat in an airplane. I can only begin to imagine how hard it is to change a diaper in that tiny lavatory. Still, that's what must be done. The alternative is a hostile act.

3. On the ground in a parking lot. That just seems a little ... dangerous? The trunk of your car is a WAY better choice.

4. In the seat of a grocery cart. More power to you if you can actually pull that off, but still: no.

5. In a non-bathroom part of the library. Gahhhh! Not even if you hide between the stacks, people.

More from The Stir: Mom Changes Her Baby's Diaper at Starbucks & Things Get Ugly (VIDEO)

6. The bed in a Macy's furniture department. Believe it or not, I've heard of this happening.

7. The floor of a nail shop. I saw this once. A lady was getting her nails done with her baby propped nearby in a carseat, and she stopped the process so she could change the baby's diaper. On the floor. Next to a pedicure station. WHAT.

8. The seat in a movie theater. Mmmmm, love that poopy popcorn smell.

9. On someone's sofa, without asking first. Simple etiquette demands that when you're visiting someone else's house, you ask the host to designate an appropriate diaper-wrangling location for you and your precious snugglebunny. Extra negative points if you get body fluids on the cushions.

10. In church. I don't know what the Bible says about this, but maybe it should be amended to include something about how thou shalt not expose thy fellow worshippers to thine offspring's bowel movements. Amen.

Agree/disagree? Do you have any places you'd add to the list?


Image via trotzenberg/Flickr

poop & diapers

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spider3 spider3

Ya you go a head and put you baby on the filthy pee and shit covered floor I have more respect for my child. If I wouldn't lay on the nasty floor why would I force my child to.

LostS... LostSoul88

A church? Seriously>? So we are suppose to let our child sit in their pee or shitty diaper because of stuck up bitches liek you think its somehting unholy?


As for the airplane if its not a shitty diaper then I see no problem then doing it at the seat. I am a tiny person and I can barley move around in those airplane restrooms. You're probably one of thsoe people who think breastfeedding should never be allowed in public either.


when I baby needs to be changed they nee to be who the hell cares what other people think. 

Lauren Szymula Westcott

So are all of these locations appropriate places to change a pee diaper??


 

nonmember avatar bessie.viola

I am laughing so hard at the indignant comments already. Come ON, people. In each of the situations mentioned, GO TO YOUR CAR. Use the front seat or the trunk to change the baby. It is SO not a big deal. Insisting on exposing your little one to the public is the weird thing, IMO - I wouldn't change a baby on a table because it's gross, for one, but it also exposes my kid's business to the world and I'm not comfortable with that.

Also seconding the changing pad thing - I mean, it's not ideal, but nothing terrible is going to happen to your baby if he or she is lying on a changing pad, even if it's on a floor. Sheesh.

EmmaF... EmmaFromEire

It's not because we think it's 'unholy', it's because it's fucking disgusting.

Amanda Westen

Spider3 you figure it out. Sit on the floor yourself and put them on your legs.


Why do all you people have to be jerks???


 

Amanda Westen

Nobody wants to see or smell your kids poop. I have 3 children and have managed to get by without doing any of these. Parents are crafty.


 

Choco... Chocodoxies

Sanctimommy, party of one. 

Serab... Serabelle

I agree with every single one of them!!! If you find a bathroom gross, ask the staff to clean it. That's their job. But subjecting others to your child's bowl movements, especially in a food establishment, is not ok, ever. If someone ever did this in my restaurant or coffee house, they would be banned, period, end of story! Ps, my store's bathroom floors were probably cleaner than any floor in your home. We mopped minimum of 2-3 times a day, how often do you disinfect your floors?

cara75 cara75

I think for church, she's talking about right there in the pew.  Of course she's not suggesting that you let your baby sit there in a dirty diaper, but you need to get up and take your baby to the bathroom to change their diaper.  I would never have laid my babies on the FLOOR of a bathroom, but if the bathroom didn't have a changing station I wasn't afraid to whip about my changing pad and change them on the bathroom counter.  If you're in a restaurant that doesn't have a changing table, you could always go out to your car and do it.  I've done the trunk changing many a time. 

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