Murphy's Law for New Moms

LOL 10

cute babyMom, you've heard of Murphy, haven't you? I'm sure you've heard of his law anyway ... the one that says "anything that can go wrong will go wrong"? Cynical? Maybe. Or maybe Murphy was a parent.

Because when it comes to having kids, anything that can go wrong, well ... you get where I'm going with this. Behold the Murphy's law -- or should I say laws? -- of babies:

1. Your baby will sleep as fire engines scream past your house, sirens blaring. When your bedspring squeaks during sex, he will wake up screaming, "Mooooooooommmmmmyyyyyyy."

2. You will have a fully dressed baby and be walking out the door five minutes late for work when she blows out her diaper.

3. If you're in a mall bathroom with a baby with a wet diaper, you will have a full wipes container. If you're in a mall bathroom with a baby with a poopy diaper, you will have exactly one wipe left in the container ... and there won't be any toilet paper left in the stall dispenser.

4. You can hold his little body as far away from you as possible, but he's still going to get that baby vomit in your purse.

5. You will be in the bathroom when your daughter takes her first steps (or some other major milestone). It will be the ONE AND ONLY TIME you managed to sneak away to pee alone.

6. You can sit there waiting for that baby to poop all day, and it won't happen, but as soon as you've changed her into a fresh diaper, she will let loose.

7. You will spend eight straight hours with a screamy, colicky baby, but the minute your spouse walks in the door, he will grin and gurgle like an angel.

8. If your pediatrician closes at 6 p.m. on a Friday, your son will spike a high fever at 6:01 p.m. on a Friday.

9. Your baby will happily spend hours in her bouncy seat. She will start screaming bloody murder the second you step into the shower.

10. There is exactly one item of choking hazard size on Granny's living room floor that even the vacuum cleaner missed. Your son will find it.

What is your Murphy's law of parenting moment?

 

Image via valentinapowers/Flickr

baby first year

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MamaT... MamaTo2b2g

I about spit my coffee out when I read #1! That is so true, and just happened to us 2 nights ago lol.

femal... femaleMIKE

I am 29weeks pregnant.  My husband usually misses the good kicks.  The minute my husband falls asleep that's the time babyboy decides to start kicking and moving repetitively

redK8... redK8blueSt8

That no matter if you don't even own a dog, my son will step in dog poop in your yard.


That the moment you brag about what a non-picky easy eater your baby is, s/he will suddenly stop willingly eating whatever it is you place on the plate.

danit... danithegreat

The first time you get both you & baby dressed nice then go out for something like a birthday dinner they will either puke or have a blow out all over the both of you. 

insei... inseineangel

That moment she falls asleep, and I turn around and walk face first into the door. "WAAAAAAAAAAH!"


That I give her all the toys she has to play with, and she STILL manages to find (and chew on) the dog's toys.


And #1 made me laugh so hard. She'll sleep through pots and pans banging, glasses clinking together, the dog barking, a tornado siren... but if I open a new jar of something, when that lid pops she starts wailing (even though I'm 2 rooms away). 

beach... beachbaby511

they will play happily and quietly by themselves until you 1. want to hop in the shower or 2 minutes, 2. start to drink  a hot(ok, warm) cup of coffee, 3. need to make an important phone call.         also, do not try to sit and eat a meal.i could be standing around the kitchen forever, ask all 4 of them if they need anything , and like magic someone needs something 2 seconds after i sit. lol

Renee Mason

When you think you have your living room baby proofed so they can't get to any other room is the day they discover if they stack the pillows they can climb over the baby gate and laugh at you as you trip trying to get over said gate in time and get them off the stairs they are halfway up.  We removed the pillows, he used a toy box, next time he conned the dog into letting him step on him.  We had to resort to a 4ft high piece of plywood LOL

RitzC... RitzCrackerz

#7 she does that all the time 

Krist... Kristin_Allen

Your toddler refuses to eat ANYTHING for you, not even candy. When you go over to your parents house and tell your mother of your meal time woes, your toddler makes you look like you starve him as he eats anything that even remotely looks like food.

Reen1 Reen1

Yes, yes, and YES.
LoL

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