Hey Animal Lovers, Having Dogs Is Not Practice for Having Babies

Rant 20

dog and babyOMG. After hearing that Kevin Jonas and his wife Danielle hope their dogs are good practice for babies -- I can't help but roll my eyes and think to myself, "You. Just. Wait."

Ugh. Please tell me I'm not the only one who is absolutely driven nuts by people who think having a dog and having a baby are the same thing. Oh come on -- you have at least one or two friends or family members who insist they'll be amazing parents simply because they've successfully "parented" a dog for a year or two.

Well, apparently celebs are under the same assumption.

But while Kevin is hoping his doggy-daddy skills will help him with an infant, at least Danielle is keeping a sense of humor about the whole thing. In reference to their dogs preparing them for kids, she said, "If that's practice you're not very good at it."

(Ouch. Way to hit your hubby where it hurts, girl.)

But seriously -- dogs are NOT babies. And babies are NOT dogs. Even though some research suggests dogs and babies are more alike than we think, there are a few key differences that are simply impossible to ignore.

  1. Babies poop in their pants -- It doesn't matter how many times you've scooped the poop. Until you've seen a full-on diaper blowout, you have no idea what it means to clean up after another living creature.
  2. You can't crate a baby -- Sure, puppies tend to cry all night at first, which makes some people think they'll be able to handle a crying baby just as well. But you can always put the dog in a crate in the laundry room downstairs, shut the door, pop in some earplugs, and go to bed. That sort of thing is kind of frowned upon with a baby.
  3. Babies can't stay home alone -- Hello? Want to go out for a nice dinner with your husband? Better hire a babysitter or bring the kid with you. He can't stay home by himself for hours on end like your dog can.
  4. Babies need to be fed more than once a day -- Yeah, Fido might be cool with you filling up his bowl and then going about the rest of your day without a care in the world. But not Junior. He wants to get his eat on -- all the damn time.
  5. Babies don't run -- Or at least not for the first year or so. If your dog is full of energy, you can just take him outside and play fetch for an hour or so and he'll likely sleep the rest of the day away. But if your baby insists on staying awake -- he's gonna stay awake no matter what you do.
  6. Babies are WAY more expensive -- You think dealing with vet bills is a chore? Wait 'til you see how much you spend on diapers, food, toys, clothes, gear -- for the next 18 years or so. There's really no comparison.

Do you think babies and dogs are at all alike?

 

Image via Dan Harrelson/Flickr

baby first year, pets