Did you ever see one of those shirts that asks, "I'm a mom, what's your superpower?" I think it's more than a little silly. But if I had to be honest, a tiny part of me gets it. I may not be leaping tall buildings in a single bound, but there are things I can do now that I have a kid that I never could before.
It's not about moms being more powerful than other women, so much as moms learning they're a lot more flexible and adaptable than we ever thought possible or really ever needed to think about.
Behold the awesome abilities that come with new motherhood:
1. Cook a gourmet meal entirely one-handed. Who was the genius who decided to invite friends over to meet the baby when said baby did not want to spend a minute without me? Oh right, that was me.
2. Sit on the toilet with a human being in your lap. Don't think it can be accomplished? Neither did my friend Mary ... until it happened!
3. Eat an entire meal in less than five minutes. I'm embarrassed to say that even now that my daughter is 7, I tend to wipe a plate clean in seconds. But when I had a hungry child who couldn't feed herself, shoveling in my food was often the only way I'd get to munch on something hot.
4. Lug 40 pounds of baby plus groceries, without dropping either. Sometimes you can leave the baby in the car seat for a few minutes while you run the groceries into the house, and sometimes you just can't. But leaving a crawling baby in the house so you can run back to get the groceries before the ice cream melts doesn't work either. This is when you discover your true strength ... not to mention the power of your knee.
5. Exist on 20 minutes of sleep. I love my sleep. It is the only part of a teenager's body I still retain. My co-workers even joked that I was going to be late to my own induction because it was scheduled for early in the morning (I made it). And yet, when I brought home my daughter and I was trying to figure out nursing, and I was setting an alarm clock to pump every two hours (supposedly to increase my flow) and then feeding her every two hours, I was literally getting no sleep. Literally. NONE! And guess what? I'm still alive today.
6. Use your feet as hands. When a colicky baby has finally fallen asleep in your lap and the remote control falls off the couch, you do not risk moving your hand. Uh uh. No way. No how.
7. Have reaaaaaally quiet sex. The mom who shared this one asked not to be identified, but she admitted she used to be what one would call a moaner before the baby came along. But these days she's so quiet, they can do it with baby in the room, and the little one sleeps right on through.
8. Dress one-handed with someone attached to your hip or boob. Learning to dress yourself as a little tyke is big. But learning to do it all with just one hand AND work around someone who is attached to you is a whole new level of mastery. Perhaps this should be a new category on Minute to Win It?
What feats of greatness have you mastered since you had a kid and actually had to do it?
Image by Jeanne Sager