16 Outrageous Insults Said to New Parents About Their Babies

OMG 205

babyPeople. They're the worst. Well, not all of the time, but when someone has the nerve to say something insulting about your baby, it's pretty hard to exercise any sort of restraint.

Sure, the majority of the time, most folks have nothing but sweet things to say about the little bundles of joy in our lives. But once in a while, someone comes out with a comment that's either really offensive, ridiculous, or a combination of both -- and leaves us speechless.

I'll never forget the time I was traveling to Florida with my son when he was around 5 months old. I was sitting in the airplane seat and had him on my lap, and as the other passengers passed our aisle during boarding, some random lady looked at us and exclaimed, "Oh my GOD! His toes are SO long! He looks like a little monkey!"

I'm sure she meant well and all -- but I was pretty taken aback by her words and couldn't help but be offended. I mean, my baby's toes were just about the cutest damn thing on the face of the earth. Where did she get off making a weird comment about them? (Gah.)

More from The Stir: 13 Things New Moms Will Never Say

But the toe jab (no pun intended) I got can't compare to some of the wacky things other parents have heard.

Here are 15 more of the worst insults moms and dads have heard in reference to their babies.

"My ex-MIL told me that my newborn son's dimples were birth defects! Little did she know that all three of my children would have them and they are simply beautiful!" -- Linda

"Someone told me they were really surprised that I was naming my daughter 'Ashley'. They said they thought I would have chosen a more original name." -- Kelly

"'Better you than me' when they saw I had twins plus a 14-month-old. I wanted to slap everyone that told me that!" -- MaryBeth

"People always felt the need to tell me what a big head my son had! Really? I hadn't noticed! Sheesh!" -- Sasha

"You're brave to have a baby at our age. I was 35 and she was around 50." -- Heather

"My daughter's foot was curled a little inward when she was born; a family member said she had a clubbed foot." -- Rebecca

"To my 5-month-old daughter: I'm not holding that thing but I've got room in my trunk." -- @suburbansocial

"When my husband's ex saw our baby for the first time, she paused for a second and then said, 'Well, at least she's healthy.'" -- @cheyenneahoyt

"My sister-in-law referring to my daughter's baby acne said, 'Ewww whats wrong with her face, will it go away?'" -- Lisa

And the boy/girl mix-up seems to be a popular one:

"Ya know, the typical gender swap!! ... 'Awww he is so handsome ...'; 'Thank you, but she's a girl'... yep ... because I get a kick outta putting a yellow bow and red/yellow polka dot dress on my lil' dude. Jackasses." -- Kristen

"To my little 3-month-old baby girl ... 'Awww, he's so robust!' Two things wrong with this: (1) He is a SHE, and (2) she is NOT robust!" -- Sam

"We had an old man at Kroger say that Lucy was going to be a linebacker when she grew up ... he was unaware at the time she was actually a girl. I responded, 'Yep, she is chubby; but she will skinny up just like her sister did.'" -- Lizzie

"People loved to tell me my son -- dressed in head to toe blue -- was such a beautiful girl. Annoying." -- Jen

"My daughter was all dressed in pink, in her stroller with a pink blanket, and a lady asked how old he was. I said SHE'S 8 months. The lady said what a cute little boy. I told her that my baby is a girl. This lady went on to say my daughter would be cuter as a boy, and then asked me if I was sure she is a girl. Ya, I forgot to check." -- Nicole 

Brace yourself ... I saved the best for last.

"We were at Target one evening and my son has blond hair and blue eyes, and these teenage girls are looking at him and they said, 'Hitler would have saved him.'" -- Michael

(OMG. Are you kidding me?)

What's the worst thing anyone has said about your baby?


Image via Mary Fischer

baby first year


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linzemae linzemae

My mil always says "better you than me" to pregnant women. Drives me nuts! Yes, it is better them than you.... you are 51!

B1Bomber B1Bomber

Bahahaha "Hitler would have saved him"? How can you even be offended at something so ridiculous?

TKsMo... TKsMommie

I snorted at the linebacker one.  I said that about my daughter all the time when she was a baby.  She was a chunk, and even now at 6 and 40 lbs soaking wet I still think she would make a damn good linebacker, because she is tough as anything and her favorite things are dinosaurs, the hulk, football and hockey!!  All while wearing a skirt and her cowgirl boots.  I don't understand why people get all bent out of shape by the gender thing, babies don't look like boys or girls, just say thanks and move on!

nonmember avatar Kasey

I always received the comment about my son being beautiful. When I would tell them, why yes, HE is beautiful isn't he? They would drop their jaws and say, what??! He's too pretty to be a boy!" Pretty sure he is, the hospital double checked that for me.

Shandi80 Shandi80

Interesting that so many people are offended when people mistake their baby girls as boys and  vice versa...when people are always clucking about erasing gender lines and such. I would think it wouldn't bother them to have their baby confused as the opposite sex.

mande... manderspanders

@Shandi: that's quite the generalization.  I think the "gender neutrality" thing is a buncha crap.

I'm having a boy; and he will be dressed as boy.  It's offensive when people are too stupid to think (or look) before they open their mouth.  A little girl dressed all in pink (or some other girly color), in a dress, with hair do-dads should NEVER be mistaken for a boy.  A little boy dressed in blue with trucks or dinosaurs or sports shouldn't ever be mistaken for a girl either.

Courtney Schweizer

When my son was a couple days old in the hospital one of the nurses came around and was doing his routine exam in the room and said to the nursing student to "see his flat head, that means he was breech", I had to bite my tongue because he didn't have a flat head and was not breech. Then I was at Meijers the other day when some elderly lady asked to see my 2 week old son, I stopped and let her look. She proceeded to tell me how cute and innocent he was until he "grew up then they all become alike"... really?!?! I think sometimes people speak before thinking. 

littl... littlebeanmom

The best two I heard was my husband's friend asking me if I knew whether my daughter had Down's syndrome (she doesn't) and my sister telling me that left handed people die 10 years earlier than right handed people after she saw my baby grab something with her left hand.  Thanks a lot people. 

JessL... JessLogansMommy

The Hitler one just made me spit out my tea!  You can't make something like that up! 

nonmember avatar dana

I'll never understand why people get angry or upset when they call your baby the opposite gender, especially when they're in a dress or "daddy's little guy." Why are you SO annoyed by the opinion of someone who is OBVIOSULY such an idiot?

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