7 Things You Have to Stop Doing Once You're a Mom

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dancing on a tableThere are some things you just cannot do once you become a mother. For many women, the line is drawn pretty strict. I'm a little more lenient. You can still dance on the table (a very stable one, after you've cleared the dishes), have a cocktail before dinner, and dress like a slut if you want to, in my book. But even I have my standards. Here are seven things I think we have to give up when we have kids.

  1. Hard drugs: Hopefully you weren't doing heroin before you had kids. But just in case: It's time to get off the horse. Get it out of your system before the babies come. Like, all the way out of your system.
  2. YOLO: You don't get to use this phrase to do crazy shit anymore. You only live once, but that one life now comes with responsibility. Live for tomorrow, too.
  3. Neglecting your health: Your kid needs you to be your best self. It's not just so you can parent at your highest capacity. It's also because they need you to model healthy habits.
  4. Gossiping: Go ahead and talk smack about the Real Housewives. But when it comes to real people, especially people your kids know, it's time to exercise some self control. People disappoint us, and it's okay to say so. But I don't think it's right to just carelessly slag off on people in front of your kids.
  5. Any activity that could be classified as a felony: Try really hard not get land your ass in jail. Who will take care of your kids, then?
  6. Picking up guys at bars and bringing them home: If you're single, keep the sexy times far away from your kids. No one wants to see a strange man in Mommy's bathrobe at breakfast. Oh -- I guess this goes for married women, too. Husbands hate it when you bring home someone else to sleep with. Ehrm, usually.
  7. Eating ice cream for dinner: Steam some broccoli and boil some pasta. We all have bad nights, but try.

What do you think people have to stop doing once they become parents?

 

Image via Trishhh/Flickr

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tuffy... tuffymama

Adriana, you can tell me. That's your mom in that pic, isn't it? ;0)



I personally think mothers shouldn't dress like sluts. Sexy is one thing but slutty is gross. And sexy doesn't belong at Little League, Brain Brawl, recitals, or parent-teacher conferences. It embarrasses kids. And then they turn out to be giant douchebags like Paula Deen's kids.

slcjcc09 slcjcc09

My husband and I miss our occasional entire-weekend-tv/movie marathon-in-pjs with snacky foods. lol. Just can't do that with little ones :)

Laura Palmer

You should never use the term YOLO regardless, it screams I am a douche hole.

nonmember avatar Madeline

Most of these you should never do. I'm sorry hard drugs, felonies, neglecting your health and saying yolo aren't acceptable for anyone.

jessa... jessasmamma

I agree with tuffymama. Women really need to stop dressing like sluts, especially after becoming mothers. There's no reason not to wear shorts, dresses, etc. But when you're unable to bend over to pick up your child's dropped pacifier without showing off your hoo-ha, you've gone too far.

I live in the heart of Texas and we have pretty hot, humid summers. I am always shocked when I see other mothers wearing clothes that are either SUPER short or SUPER tight. There was one mom that used to pick up her son from my daughter's daycare around the same time as I picked up my daughter. Her shorts were literally so tight and so short it looked like they were painted on. And then she was filling out a form in the front office one day. And she was sitting. And I am pretty sure everyone there saw the area that her son came out of. It was too much.

katboo01 katboo01

I saw this picture and immediately thought "oh, that's a Filipino mom!  They all dance that way!"  

nonmember avatar MammaMel

YESSSSS to your list!!! And an even bigger yes to dancing on tables!!! In my family Great-Grandma's still dance on tables at weddings :)

lulou lulou

I dont think mothers can wear jumpsuits, or even button fly jeans, when you are out with kids, and have to go to the bathroom yourself, and they always open the stall on you, or try to crawl under and ask some stranger if they are "pooping in there?"


Now, curious on Paula Deens kids as I have a chocolate chip poundcake recipe from her old "Paula and sons" cookbook that I like.

nonmember avatar Sara

#8 - Driving like a bat out of hell.

We all know you have to get to soccer games and ballet practice to get to, but cutting me off and then flipping me the bird is not a stellar example for your children.

Jennifer Kinghorn

If your benchmark for not doing these things is having kids, you should stop and not have kids. Seriously. However, just because I am a mom, does not mean I clicked agree to stop living! LOVE LIFE! Party and enjoy! Just remember you have kids too. 

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