15 Things Never to Say to Parents of Biracial Kids

Rant 207

baby It's been 46 years since Mildred Loving, a black woman, and Richard Loving, a white man, convinced the Supreme Court to end race-based marriage restrictions in America. These days, mixed-race babies account for 7 percent of the kids born to American moms every year. One of those babies has risen all the way to the office of the presidency.

So why are the parents of biracial kids still hearing the same tired, old comments our parents and grandparents heard (or, God forbid, made!) back in the day?

Turns out America is still full of a whole lot of racist thinking, and it's not just the people you'd expect. When The Stir talked to moms and dads, we heard a lot of people say things without even seeming to understand that they're being rude. Could this be you?

More from The Stir: 8 Things Never to Say to a Mom of an Only Child

Take a look at this list of things moms and dads of biracial babies have heard:

1. But your kids are really white!

2. A family member of mine told me that I should consider not having children with my husband because our babies will be biracial and will be teased. Needless to say, I didn't listen and our babies are gorgeous.

3. After practice a few years ago, I actually had a parent STOP my daughter as she ran to me, asking, "Where's your Mom, sweetie?" Ummmm ... hello. I'm right here. Seriously.

4. Aww, look at the cute zebra baby.

5. He doesn't look anything like you!

6. Oh, she's so cute! What province did you get her from?

7. What was it like giving birth and seeing this Asian baby come out of you? (As if I had given birth to a frog.)

8. Look at her cute chinky eyes!

9. At least her father knows she's really his!

10. Are you the nanny?

11. Wow, you're lucky they're so white.

12. While I was pregnant, someone asked, "I wonder if her hair will be nappy?"

13. Are you sure they're really yours? (directed to the father of two light-skinned children)

14. I was shopping with my two daughters and one of my daughter's friends. An employee handing out samples of granola of some sort started pointing at each child. She pointed at my oldest and said, "She's yours!" She pointed at my daughter's friend and said, "She's not yours." Then she points at my youngest, who was maybe about a year old, and she said, "What country?" She is very lucky she was about 70.

15. Aww, you're so lucky. Biracial kids are soooo much cuter.

Have you heard anything on this list or SAID anything on this list?


Image via kabils/Flickr

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nonmember avatar crystalMP

I've heard all of these except for 3, 6, 7, 8 and 14 and most of these came from my husbands stepdad. One that he uses more often for my youngest child is "you really "whited" him up" dafuq? My oldest came out with dark olive toned skin but my youngest got my skin color so people always ask my husband if he's sure he's his.

Christina Mancuso-Henry

I have nothing to add to the list really. I'm the mama of two, soon to be three, bi/multiracial children and I am very proud of them!

nonmember avatar Mrs.Yen

Haha! I have been asked if I was the babysitter AND overheard "look! She has one of those china babies!" LOL

nonmember avatar K

Biracial people/children/babies have the most beautiful, unique skin color. I wish I were more than 1/4 Asian so I could get some of the neat qualities biracial children get. Anyone who insults them like that is a jerk.

femal... femaleMIKE

Call me a jerk.  I do find biracial children to be extremely beautiful.  They get the most interesting look. 

B1Bomber B1Bomber

These are true anytime you have children who look nothing like you, skin tone or otherwise. If a white woman is with a dark skinned child, it is reasonable to ask if that child is adopted. People are way too sensitive. If someone is trying to give a compliment, genuinely curious, or making an innocent observation, take it as such and move on. Believe it or not, most people are not trying to offend you or insult your perfect kids.

bella... bellacazzate

^^B1Bomber: The point of these lists is to curb your type of thinking on a societal level. People should know if they're being insulting. No one should have to take someone's ignorant shit because it was said under the guise of a "compliment". And if they're so naive as to not know they're being insulting, then one must correct them in order to stop the vicious cycle of tee-hee ignorance.

linzemae linzemae

Biracial children are some of the most gorgeous kids!

Katy Khan

I'm not offended by any of that. I'm not into making a fuss over such mundane things.

Amanda Solita Shovlin

My husband and I are both white, he has dark brown hair, I have light brown hair and we both have brown eyes. Our son is the perfect mix of us, while our daughter has blond hair and beautiful light blue eyes. My cousin who is in her 50's actually asked my father who my daughters father was. He said, she has the same father, you know my daughters husband. She still doesn't believe it because my daughters eyes are blue. Not even thinking that her eyes are the same exact shade as my mothers, and my grandfathers and numerous other cousins eyes. And hubby's father has blue eyes, and my grandmother had green eyes.

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