We know there are many benefits of co-sleeping. Happy babies, happy parents, happy planet! Co-sleeping can be a rewarding family practice, but you have to do it the right way.
This? This is not how you co-sleep. And it's not how you sleep-train, either. I don't know what you would even call this. Some completely whacked-out, bananas kind of co-sleep-training only a dad would come up with? Parents. Do not do this.
Dr. Sears would say no. The American Academy of Pediatrics would say Shut It Down, Son. You would totally lose your parenting license. But if you absolutely insist on crib-sharing (There! That's what you call it), here are some important tips.
1. Reinforce the crib so it can support your weight. These things definitely aren't made to hold an adult.
2. Try and get the baby to fall asleep cuddled next to you, rather than letting her use your chest as a mattress.
3. Failing that, try cutting out the front of a sweater and laying it on top of your shirt. That way, when the baby is asleep, you just slide out from under your sweater dickie.
4. Wait longer for your baby to fall asleep. Don't try to escape so quickly.
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5. Install a crane to lift you out of the crib. Because let's face it, there's just not enough room in there to manoeuvre and we know you're going to wake your baby climbing out. You'll probably also fall and make a racket.
6. Get a remote control for the crane because obviously you can't operate it from the crib.
7. Never, ever tell your wife what you're up to. She will not be okay with any of this.
Disclaimer: We are totally joking about this. Do not crib-share. Or co-crib. Or whatever you call it. Do not. Do not. Do not. Seriously. Don't.
Have you ever been tempted to crawl into the crib with your baby?
Image via Nunzio Raso/YouTube
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