If the Duggars Adopt a Child, It's Up to Them -- Not Their Kids

Rant 13

duggars

Have you heard the big news? The Duggars may adopt a baby, which would make them the proud parents of 20 kids. Yep, Jim Bob and Michelle admit that having another child isn't out of the question for them, and we'll hear even more about their plans on the upcoming TLC special, 19 Kids & Counting: Duggars Do Asia.

Michelle says, "The kids are definitely pushing towards wanting us to open our home up to another child or more. They see how much we have been blessed with and how little so many children have and they want to share. We tell our children that would have to be something that is God’s will for our family, and we will see if it is. Our children love children, and we all do."

Wow. It's all well and good that the Duggar kids are excited about the possibility of gaining another sibling, but the idea of them "pushing" Jim Bob and Michelle to add another baby into the mix raises an interesting question.

Should kids have any sort of say or influence over whether or not their parents have more children?

I know what my answer is -- no way. Sure, they're a huge part of the family and should have some input on important family decisions -- but choosing to have another child should be solely up to the parents and no one else.

Here's the thing -- the parents are the ones who take care of the baby, not his siblings. They're the ones getting up at all hours of the night to calm him down when he's hungry, sick, or crying for no reason. And moms and dads are the ones who are responsible for the kid for a good 18 years and have to keep him safe and happy. And then there's the whole financial thing. Brothers and sisters aren't the ones who have to pay for everything the new baby needs and will need as he grows up.

I am an only child, and I can remember bugging the heck out of my parents to adopt a baby so I could have a brother or sister after family friends of ours adopted a child from Korea. I used to drive them crazy with my requests for a sibling, and for the life of me, I couldn't understand why they kept refusing. But now that I'm a mom, I totally get it. And now I want to go back in time and tell my 10-year-old self to shut up and quit asking already.

So far with my 7-year-old, I've been really lucky, because he has absolutely no interest in adding a brother or sister to the family. But if he ever changes his mind and starts begging us for one, we're not giving in unless it's something both me and my husband are 100 percent sure we want -- regardless of how much it disappoints him.

Would you have a baby just to please your other kids?

 

Image via Splash

adoption, siblings

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Melanie Barcliff Unger

If the family can love and provide for their children, they could have 50 for all I care. So many kids would give anything for a loving, safe home. God bless 'em!

teddy... teddysmama09

I just need to let you know that there is a flaw in your aritcle. You state that it is the parents who raise the child, not the siblings. In the case of the Duggars that is not true. They have said in their show that Michelle is the baby's buddy until it is weaned, at wich time the buddy takes over. I have been watching  the show for years and from whatt I have seen (and read from members of the Duggars religion) the buddy basically takes over all parenting duties. Toddlers sleep in the same room as older siblings, which means night wakings are cared for by the buddies, not Michelle.


 

nonmember avatar Blair

If they try to adopt overseas then I don't think it will be possible. There are many restrictions such as age, and number of children already in the family. It might even be an issue here in the U.S.

Hannah Short

Ummm... Actually the whole family needs to decide to adopt. ANY family that decides to adopt needs to do so unanimously. A child doesn't need to enter a new family and know that they are not wanted by the other children. It's overwhelmingly stressful being adopted as it is. I think that if they decide to adopt that it would be the most amazing thing they could do. They aren't a bad family. They're a little quirky but there are so many children in this world without a family to love them. I'd rather be a Duggar than an orphan.

nonmember avatar Shannon

Adoption when you've already got children should be a joint decision in ANY family, even "regular" ones. The children at home will be affected by the addition of a new member. I'm not saying the kids get to decide or even have equal say, but their feeling should be taken into account since adoption is a very intrusive and time-consuming process.

Katy Khan

Well they havea very loving home, imagine if they never had children naturally and had instead adopted 20 children. I think their kids are wonderful, I'm just saying. I do think that if they adopt, the floodgates will open and they will def. adopt more than one. I also think it should be the parents decision but the children should have their input heard, especially in the Duggar family, since it's the children who are raising each other.

amazz... amazzonia

I really don't tthink think that they will adopt a baby just because their kids want them to, but because they actually want one, and they are asking the kids if they wood be ok with it, which I find very nice that parents want to involve their kids in such a big decision.....than if someone is really pushing I think it's TLC not the kids 

nonmember avatar Susan

I do believe that if the parent's decide they want to have a baby or adopt then they should consider the other children's opinions and take them into account- especially if there is a child who doesn't want a sibling. However, the final decision should be the parents.
Also, in this family, the younger children are taken care of by the older children.

Melissa Maynard Penrod

Actually in that family the parents aren't the ones that cares for the children. Michelle takes care of the new baby until it is weaned and then one of the other children is assigned as that childs "buddy". And basically raises the child.

Shena Smith

yah im sure the kids would be estactic to bring another kid into the house they have to look after feed bath change babysit these people never watch there own kids they pass on the younger ones to the older ones which is beyond selfish it isnt ur fuckin kids job to watch ur younger kids!!!!!!! they arent the parent u are and if u cant watch all ur children stop having them!!!!

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