Hmm. How shall I say this? I should probably put on some sort of protective headgear before making this confession -- but here goes nothing.
I hated breastfeeding. HATED it. Loathed it. (There. I said it.)
And that's why I only did it for a couple of weeks before I threw in the towel, switched my son over to the bottle, and never gave offering the boob a second thought.
Yes, I'm fully aware that telling the world that breastfeeding just wasn't my thing won't earn me any "mother of the year" titles, but I'm willing to make the sacrifice, because this needs to be said.
(And I know I'm not the only mom who feels this way. No, I'm not. I promise. I'm just one of the only ones who's willing to admit it.)
When I had my son seven years ago, I had every intention of breastfeeding him exclusively. He latched on fine after a day or two, and once my milk finally came in, I told myself a million times over that I "could do this," and vowed to stick with it even if it became difficult at times.
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But then when it pretty much took over my life and made me even more exhausted, overwhelmed, and depressed than I already was, I realized that breastfeeding was never going to be my cup of tea.
From the moment I gave it up, I never regretted my decision for one second. And if I ever were to have another baby, I'd probably pop him on the boob for a day or two to get the colostrum, but then I'd reach for the bottle again without hesitation.
Again, I hated breastfeeding. And here are a few reasons why.
- It's all I did -- OMG. That baby was seriously attached to my body 24 hours a day, and I just couldn't handle it. I was told to feed him every two hours, but it took at least an hour to feed him, which meant that by the time I was done, it was practically time to feed him again. He was never off the boob. Like ever.
- I needed sleep -- Not being able to have my husband relieve me for some of the middle of the night feedings was awful and really took its toll on my overall well being. I was able to take better care of my son after having some much needed rest.
- It hurt like hell -- I have always envied those moms who can breastfeed with no discomfort or pain. I wasn't one of them. And considering how much I was already crying on any given day, I didn't need another reason to burst into tears.
- My baby was hungry -- Every baby is different, and my little guy never seemed like he was getting enough to eat during the time I was breastfeeding him. It's amazing how much his demeanor and sleep patterns changed once I switched him to formula and he had a full belly.
- It made me feel more isolated -- I wasn't one of those moms who was comfortable putting on a cover and breastfeeding in public, or in front of anyone other than my husband. When people came over, I basically hid upstairs in my son's room so I could feed him. And we avoided going out because I didn't want to have to worry about finding a place to breastfeed discreetly. And that made me lonely.
- I wanted my body back -- I know it might sound selfish, but after being pregnant for nine months, I longed for my body to be mine again. And I was so much happier as a mom once it was.
Do you breastfeed? Do you love it or hate it?
Image via sdminor81/Flickr
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Comments 879
Yeah, I hated it ,too. BUT did itanyway for both kids, plus pumping...because it was what was best for them. :)
I hated it too. Kept waiting for that bonding moment so many moms speak of ... and then just found myself resenting the moms who had that - because the bonding never came. I lasted 6 weeks with my daughter and barely 3 weeks with my son. After I stopped I became a much better mother to my kids (emotionally) for most of the reasons you mention.
Cyberhug to you...you brave, brave woman. You are going to get it. :)
***No judgement--just understanding***
I totally agree. I breastfed for 4 months with my younger one and said that was it. I HATED pumping so much. I felt like a milking cow factory. Whoever invented those contraptions must of been a man that thought just that of women in general. I didn't have much milk for my 1st and almost exclusively bottle fed him. But I did feel I didn't bond with him as much as the 2nd baby.
Lisa I am right there with you. My 20 month old son is the same way. He is downright abusive LoL But I also vowed to go until he weaned so on we go. I have never regretted my choice though & couldn't imagine not doing it now. I know not all moms & babies take to it quite as easily,we were lucky
I did it for six weeks, but I just wasn't producing enough milk, so we made the switch to the bottle, but I pretty much hated breastfeeding. It hurt so much, and I feel like it was a better decision for my daughter, who finally had a full stomach.
For me, it was just something you do, like cleaning up puke in the middle of the night or reading your kids books. Sometimes I loved it, sometimes I hated it, but just did it.