If someone had told me that there were "mean babies" before I'd given birth, I wouldn't have believed it. How can a sweet widdle baby be mean? They're cute! And cuddly! And OMG, did I mention cuuuuuute?
Of course, then I had a baby. And I found out what researchers at the University of British Columbia's Centre for Infant Cognition have now confirmed: some babies really are mean. Heck, read between the lines of their new study, and you get the sense of something every mother has thought but not dared say aloud.
Sometimes our babies are @--holes.
Hey, I didn't say it! The research did! According to the scientists, babies show social biases. They even gravitate to people who are mean to people who are "different" from them.
Uh huh, see what I mean? Babies can be @--holes! But we didn't reaaaaally need a study to tell us that, did we? Just look at some of the times Moms have secretly though their widdle bundles of love were being big ol' jerks:
1. I swear my daughter would wait to poop in her diaper until just AFTER I'd changed it!
2. My son would scream and carry on during every bath. At least, every bath I gave him! When my mother was over, he'd coo like he was in heaven, and I had to get that "look" from her.
3. My middle son cried every time I held him. He would stop if I put him down or handed him to his dad. At 11, he is still much like this. I think he hated me from birth!
4. My daughter liked to hit me and then just sit there staring at me, waiting for a reaction.
5. Hello? Doesn't every kid play the "throw it" game, where they throw something JUST so you have to pick it up, and then they burst into tears right after THEY threw it? Babies are totally manipulative!
6. I get that being locked into a car seat is probably unpleasant, but did my daughter really have to kick me right in the sternum to show how much she dislikes it? That had to be on purpose.
7. My son loved to put his fingers in my hair when he was nursing. I thought it was cute up until I was trying to wean him. He would actually pull on my hair so hard I cried!
8. My son was a really curious crawler. He was into everything, and I know he was just investigating his new world. But he used to get this smirk on his face every time he'd yank a plug out of the wall. It was like he knew he shouldn't do it, and he'd do it anyway.
All right, all right, so maybe our babies aren't really @--holes, but every mom needs something to giggle about, don't we?!
So be honest ... when has your baby made you stop and wonder if they were being a jerk on purpose?
Image via jessicafm/Flickr
Going to baseball games
Riding bike rides in the nice weather
Playing outside after work/school
Going for walks outside