A Man Can Want an Abortion & Still Turn Into a Good Dad

Mom Moment 19

baby footOlympic skier Bode Miller is embroiled in a bitter fight with ex-girlfriend Sara McKenna over the custody of their month-old son, and things are getting ugly. McKenna is telling the world that the gold medalist once pushed her to have an abortion. It's one of the reasons she says the new papa shouldn't get custody ... one of the silliest reasons, that is. 

Sure, abortion is a touchy subject. But you know that babies change people, right? It happens all. The. Time.

It's one of the beautiful things about parenthood. It changes you, and it can be instantaneous. One minute you're "expecting" a child and not sure if you're ready or if you even want this, and the next they are here, and OMG, you can't imagine what life was like before them.

What's more, babies have a tendency of making us want to be better people. You look down at that little face, and it's hard to deny them anything.

Miller initiated a custody battle because he clearly is trying to be in his son's life. That move trumps all his (alleged) comments about not wanting a kid prior to birth.

Can we say whether he's a fit father? Of course not.

McKenna is also alleging that he abuses drugs and lives on a yacht that she says is an unfit place for a newborn. Maybe she's right. Maybe not. A judge will determine who gets custody based on those criteria.

But McKenna's ridiculous claims about whether her ex wants to be a dad or not should be a warning for other moms who have considered using it in court. Yes, sometimes people say they want an abortion. Sometimes they question whether they really want to be parents. It's natural, and it's not just men. I never considered an abortion, but I sure as heck got scared along the way.

You can only hold a person's qualms about parenthood against them for so long. Once the baby arrives, if they step up (as they often do), you don't get to play that card anymore. They're showing their "want." And all that matters is a baby.

Do you believe that a man who wanted an abortion can also WANT his child?

 

Image via Kunoel/Flickr

baby first year, fathers

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nonmember avatar blh

He's only doing this to spite her.

nonmember avatar Jess

You fail to mention that Mrs. Bode Miller suffered a miscarriage during Sara McKenna's pregnancy. And that McKenna has a restraining order against Mrs. Miller for threatening her online. If I'm not mistaken, Miller only stepped up his custody battle after his wife's miscarriage. True, men do come around after not wanting their babies. But Would you really want your baby around someone who threatened you?

mommy... mommytojack0524

I think he probably panicked about her being pregnant. I don't think that alone is proof that he wouldn't be a good dad. If the drug allegation is true, that's a whole different story.


What about men who WANT their children and have no say in whether the mother aborts them?  How terrible would that be. 

Coles... Coles_mom

No. The baby would be DEAD now if he had his way. He shouldn't get the kid. Sure, he may be "changed" now- but if it wouldn't have been for that mama standing her ground, that child wouldn't be here. He's an asshole and shouldn't ever even get to see the kid.

early... earlybird11

Sorry but I actually agree with a stir writer for once. He was probably already aware this relationship sucked and was scared about bringing the child in to the mix, good bad or indifferent to it he still deserves to be. Father now that the child is here

nonmember avatar Cass

Geez, ladies- would you say the same thing about a woman who changed her mind in the waiting room? He is choosing to be in that kid's life. Shame on her for putting this allegation out there- that kid will find out about it someday, and that will hurt him far more than living on a yacht.

bella... bellacazzate

Bode Miller is a pretty big d-bag. 

Cayla... CaylaChristine

Absolutely a man can be a good father even if he mentioned abortion during the pregnancy. My husband and I unexpectedly got pregnant with our first when we were both just 18. For me, it was never even a consideration, but he was understandably scared and weighing every option. He is a fantastic father and now regrets even thinking about the possibility of our daughter not being born. It's silly to think that people can't change their minds or love their child because of one fleeting thought before they were born.

LostS... LostSoul88

If he lives on a boat that isnt a place for a child. They should do a joint thing. 

femal... femaleMIKE

Whats wrong with a child living on a boat?


based on the extra info given by Jess.  This man sounds like a jerk.  He should probably get visitation rights but not full custody. 

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