Giuliana Rancic Is Smart to Put Her Marriage Before Her Baby

Rant 98

Giuliana RancicStop the presses! A mother has declared in public that she prioritizes her marriage over her baby. Gasp! Giuliana Rancic, breast cancer survivor, new mom, and gem of the red carpet, says that she and hubby Bill put their own relationship first, and baby Duke comes second. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage, right Giuliana?! 

Surely her words are going to sound outrageous to a lot of people. It does seem rather shocking when you see "We put our baby second" in black and white; as a mom it’s counterintuitive to think of putting my child second to anything, and it’s even harder to imagine admitting that I did out loud. But the heart of what Rancic is saying makes a LOT of sense.

We're husband and wife, but we're also best friends, and it's funny because a lot of people, when they have kids, they put the baby first, and the marriage second. That works for some people. For us, I find, we put our marriage first and our child second, because the best thing we can do for him is have a strong marriage.

True dat, Giuliana. It’s the old airplane oxygen mask analogy. We have to take care of ourselves and our relationships with our co-parent (if we have one), in order to be able to give our children the best care, the best home, and the best example of the kind of loving relationships we want THEM to have when they grow up.

So we're even stronger than we ever were before and even imagined we could be. Like Oscar morning, Duke wakes up, like, twice during the night because he's so hungry and wants to eat every four hours. So Bill, like, no question was like 'I got it. Tonight you get a good night's sleep.' And when Bill has shoots the next day or meetings the next day, I do it ... It's kind of amazing ... I always say to Bill, 'You were my first baby,' because he was! He was my first love and my first baby and Duke is my second baby.

So really, what Rancic is saying is that she and Bill are totally devoted to each other, they love each other madly, and they WANT to take care of each other, which makes it easier and more natural for them to share the responsibility of caring for their baby, whom they also love madly. You know what? That Duke, aka "the cutest baby ever" according to Rancic, is one lucky little guy.

Now, altruism aside, here’s another fact: it’s not just better for BABY to maintain this kind of philosophy -- it’s better for us as parents! We who had actual names before we became Mom and Dad.

My own "baby" Isabella is about to turn 10, and it’s becoming very real to me that in a few short years she will be leaving for college and, after that, the world. She’ll always be my baby, and I swear if I could transform us into some kind of marsupial family and keep her with me in a cozy pouch always, I would want to. (You think I’m kidding but I'm not; I tease Isabella that I’m coming to college with her and I’m only half kidding.) But of course that’s not how it works, and if my husband and I do our jobs right, in less time than we’ve had with her already, Isabella will be ready to leave us. It’s heartbreaking but it’s right and good ... and then what? Then it will be back to just the two of us. If our entire existence has been focused on our baby for the past 18 years, what does that leave us with when the nest is empty?

Are you shocked that Giuliana Rancic says she puts her marriage first?

 

Image via david_shankbone/Flickr

celeb moms, celebrity babies, marriage, love

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Andrea Fatkin

Excellent article. That's the way it's supposed to be.

lobus lobus

Im sorry but what does that even mean?! That you go for dates instead of putting the kids to bed? Hiring a nanny? Having sex while your baby cries it out?? I understand the importance of not neglecting your partner during the chaos of child rearing but I will damn sure take care of my childs needs before I attend to my mans. He is a grown adult...our children are defenseless creatures who need us yes sometimes 24/7. It wont last forever. Jeez.

LostS... LostSoul88

Fuck that! My children come first no matter what!

nonmember avatar MammaMel

That may work for some...but...my kid comes first. And I've noticed that people who put their spouse first judge those of us who don't. Just because your kid comes first doesn't mean that your marriage is no where in there...believe it or not YOU CAN do both...

Maias... MaiasMommy619

It's called being selfish. My kids will always come before my husband or anyone else. Even my husband agrees with the philosophy and I am glad he does!

Angela Smail

I know not everyone buys into the Bible, but it's a biblical principal if you do. Marriage is the priority. You can't fully give a child the life he needs without a happy, stable marriage. And, no, I don't think she's suggesting that a man can't take care of himself, or that his wants come before the child's needs. I think her point is that you don't let the child run your marriage into the ground by never having time for one another because you attend only to the child's--not just needs--but every whim. 

Angela Smail

...as an addendum, I married someone who believes that our children and their health and happiness is a #1 priority in our marriage... don't have children with someone who doesn't understand that. 

Laugh... LaughingTattoo

No one comes before my children...not a  "god", not my husband, and not me.

nonmember avatar BabyMomma

All I have to say about this is that so many people have babies and forget about their husband. They forget they are married and let the spark die completely. Then they wonder why their husband doesn't want to spend time with the family, or why he would rather be out with his friends. It is because you pushed him away. I am not saying put him before your babies needs and ignore your child. But you should also pay attention to your relationship with your s/o. It is very healthy for your child to see their parents together happy, not distant and resentful towards each other. It's called balance people.

Samantha Kaatz Laury

It isn't selfish. I think the article was worded that way because the media are jerks and want to get a rise out of people, but that is a different topic altogether. I think it is great they have a strong marriage. I don't think it means they will neglect their baby, but it means they will work on their marriage, and make it strong and in turn is good for everyone. People nowadays don't work on marriages and that is why no one stays together anymore. I want my alone time with my husband (not just sex either) becasue it is good for our relationship. Am I the type of person who pawns their kid off on someone every weekend? No, We are quite the opposite, but we make time for each other whether it is a quick conversation, a little cuddling after the kids go to bed or a phone call if one us is working. There is nothing wrong with the way the Rancic's conduct their marriage. Marriages are a lot of work.they are just putting the time in to make it strong. Good for them!

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