portlandiaWhen I was pregnant, and right after I had my daughter, I read parenting books. Lots of parenting books. Off the top of my head, some of the "advice" books I read, or read at least part of, were The Happiest Baby on the Block; Bringing Up Bebe; Secrets of the Baby Whisperer; and Heading Home With Your Newborn. I know there were more, but I think I've blocked them from my memory. Some things I learned worked -- i.e., my daughter liked being swaddled and bounced for one day -- but for the most part, I, like most parents, realized that there's no one-size-fits-all book. And, when you think about it, some of the things these guides tell you to do are flat-out ridiculous.

If you've ever read a baby book, you absolutely need to check out this hilarious-because-it's-true clip from Portlandia of first-time parents trying everything from every book out on their baby. Trust me: You'll be able to relate.

Okay, I totally did the hairdryer thing, and looking back on it, it seems ri-goddamn-diculous. But when you're in the midst of those first few weeks of parenthood, you'll try anything. And you think everyone knows better than you.

But eventually you come to realize that they don't. No one knows better than you when it comes to your baby. Not even a Harvard-trained doctor with 1,000 years of practice under his belt. Or a person who goes by the name "The Baby Whisperer." What this little boy says at the end of the video sums it up better than I ever could: Parents, trust your instincts. Most of these books are caca.

Did you read any parenting books?