Mom of three Clarissa Darling Melissa Joan Hart recently said that she's glad she made the decision to wait to have more kids. Hart, who has three boys ages 7; 4-and-a-half; and 5 months, explained that she feels it's easier to manage an infant when her other two kids are able to complete big boy tasks on their own. Hart said: "It's definitely easier to have an infant when the other two boys are potty trained and can dress themselves. I'm able to enjoy every single minute, and that has been great."
That's awesome. (And, um, have you seen Melissa's new baby? Sweet Jesus is he precious!) But ... what if you can't wait until you're kids are potty trained and can go grocery shopping on their own to have another baby? What if you started kind of late?
I don't consider myself an old mom, but I certainly don't consider myself a young mom either. I'm a medium mom, I guess. I had my first when I was 33-years-old, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel the eensiest bit of pressure (from myself) to get to baby making again somewhat soon. I know I'd like my daughter to have a sibling, and I love having a child and want to become a mother again, but -- if I'm fortunate enough to have another baby -- I can't see myself waiting between four and seven years to do so.
I know women have children at all ages today, and that to some, 33 is even young. But, I don't know, having another baby sooner rather than later sort of makes sense (for me). I feel like all things baby are still fresh in my mind, and my first pregnancy was incredibly easy -- I'm hoping (knock wood) history will repeat itself if I have another one in the near future.
But I do worry about having a toddler who may or may not be potty trained (and who definitely won't be able to dress herself) and a newborn will be ... well, kind of insane. And I worry I won't get to, as Melissa said, "enjoy every moment" of my newborn when I'm wrangling my older daughter. Some have told me it's actually easier having kids closer together, as the older they get, the more attention they need, but I can't say I'm 100% sold on that. Having two children whose diapers need changing as opposed to one seems a little stressful.
As I always say, there's no universal right time to have a baby. It's what works for you. I just hope the same applies to second kids -- because Melissa Joan Hart is making a pretty sounds case for waiting a while in between.
How far apart in age are your children?
Image via Jason Merritt/Getty
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Comments 9
I am 5 years older than my brother. We are close. There maybe was a period in time when he was in high school and I was in college where we drifted apart, but now I see no difference in our relationship and others that have a 1 or 2 year difference. In fact, my husband is 2 years older than his brother and we barely talk to him. Difference in age doesn't matter. Don't let anyone tell you any different. Being close in age doesn't guarantee closeness in relationship.
Mine are 3 years apart. For me, I do think that 3-4 years between each child is ideal. It gives each a chance to be a baby, and it's easier to have the older children already able to function without needing you every second. Plus, I don't want to be older when they are growing up.
Of course, all families are different. My little sister is 8 years younger than me, and I love her bunches.
3yrs apart keeps me from going crazy! Plus those 2yrs between pregnancies is best for the health of mom and baby.
my girls are 20 months apart, it was hard at first but now we are in a routine