All parents parent in their own way. We all were raised by different people. We are all different people. And we all have our own thoughts and feelings. So it only stands to reason that we would all parent our children differently.
That's OK. I chose to breastfeed my son until he was almost 3 and my daughter until she was 1. I chose to stay home with them early in their lives and feed them mostly organic foods. But you know what? I don't think that makes me a better mom than anyone else. I did all my research and that is the way I decided to parent. If another mom chooses formula for her baby or to go back to work when her child is 3 months either because she has to or because she wants to, I say more power to her.
She's a mom who has access to ALL the same information I do and she still made her own choice. It was different from mine. That doesn't make it wrong. And this is why I feel perfectly justified mocking "sanctimommies."
We all know this woman. It isn't enough that she cloth-diapered and feeds her kid kale and breastfed until her "baby" was in college. She must also tell every other mom just how much they are doing wrong.
Therein lies the difference. If motherhood were a religion, the sanctimommy is the worst kind of missionary. She thinks her way is right and all us savages must be converted to her way or we -- and our poor, innocent babes -- are going straight to hell.
There is a new Facebook page that mocks "Sanctimommy" types. It's hilarious and totally satire. I liked it and I have been really surprised by how many people have been offended by it.
There is a MASSIVE difference between being a cloth-diapering, environmentally aware, health-food eating, no TV-watching mom who breastfeeds until age 5 and being a "sanctimommy." This is perhaps best illustrated by the 7 things a sanctimommy would say. See below:
Sanctimommy says: "I feel so sorry for kids whose parents don't try hard enough to feed them well and who will never know the joy of real nutrition."
Proud mom says: "My child eats salmon, broccoli, and kale and this makes me proud."
Sanctimommy says: "Not nursing until at least 18 months is akin to child abuse."
Proud mom says: "I nursed my baby until he was 3 because we both loved it and it was easy for us."
Sanctimommy says: "Traditional school is for conformist parents. We choose to unschool our little ones because we actually care about their future. They are already taking college courses. Now THAT'S true advancement."
Proud mom says: "My child made honor roll and her teacher says she is advanced!"
Sanctimmomy says: "Working is child abuse and any mother who would do so ought not to have children."
Proud mom says: "I love being home with my kids, and I do think this is the best thing for our family."
Sanctimommy says: "Daycare might as well be called Child Abuse, Inc. My husband told me he would have never married a woman who thought it was OK to put her child in that awful place. You might as well not even be a mother."
Proud mom says: "My husband works really hard so we don't have to daycare. It's a struggle, but we think it's worth it and the best thing for our family."
Sanctimommy says: "Sure, getting an epidural is great. If you want to have a drugged up baby. Any mom who would do that is really not thinking of what is best for her child."
Proud mom says: "I can't believe I got through two natural labors. It was so empowering. Not the right choice for everyone, but totally awesome for me."
Sanctimommy says: "OMG! Your baby is going to die! I have to share my extensive knowledge about car seat safety. It's OK. I understand. Not everyone has the devotion to their child's safety that I do."
Proud mom says: "What made you decide to turn your baby's car seat around so it's forward-facing? The AAP is saying now we should wait until 2. You probably know that, I am sure, but I was just wondering."
See the difference? Have you ever been "sanctimmomied"?
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