It's a big win for fathers everywhere! Sgt. Terry Achane, the soldier dad who made headlines last year when his wife put up their daughter for adoption without telling him, has gotten his baby back!
The ruling from a Utah court reverses the adoption of Teleah Achane by Jared and Kristi Frei, who were able to adopt the little girl they called Leah based only on the consent of mother Tira Bland. Bland is now Achane's ex-wife, and it turns out she had allegedly told Achane she was going to have an abortion while he was stationed at a United States Army base in South Carolina.
Instead she gave birth to a baby girl in Utah while Achane was serving our country on active duty, and court documents show she provided an old address for the adoption agency to reach him. When that (naturally) didn't work, the agency pushed the adoption by the Freis through the system.
The judge's decision to return the little girl to her biological dad doesn't fix all the wrong that's been done. The Freis have been hurt. Terry Achane has been hurt. This little girl is no doubt going to be confused and hurt for at least awhile as she adapts to life with the dad she never got to know.
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But it sends an important message to the world. Dads matter.
They're not the same as moms. They're not better than moms. They're a different entity entirely, and they're important in their kids' lives.
Just last night, my husband looked at me and said -- in the midst of a conversation about parenting -- that he really "enjoys being [our daughter's] father." The look in his eyes was one I have only seen a few times, but perhaps the first time was the day I gave birth. He didn't carry her; he didn't go through labor. But he is as in love with and as committed to our child as I am, and he will go to the ends of the earth and back to make her happy, to protect her.
In a world where stay-at-home dads are still called wimps by some other members of their gender, guys like my husband may seem to be in the minority. But I have a feeling it's the other way around.
There are crappy dads out there. But there are millions of good ones out there too. Just look at Terry Achane. He has fought tooth and nail to get his baby girl back after the horror of having her put up for adoption without his knowledge.
Now he can show the world that the court agrees -- he matters. Dads matter.
Check out Terry Achane and his sweetie:
Is there a dad in your life who matters? What would he have done in Terry Achane's shoes?
Image via ABC News
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Comments 90
Great article, Jeanne! Thanks for sharing this wonderful story.
It is a sad situation all around. I don't fault the adoptive parents or the father for taking the positions they have - on both sides, they were victims, and the little girl in the middle the worst victim of all. There really can't be any happy resolution to this, someone would be devastated no matter what the outcome. I am glad that a father and his child have been reunited.
Meanwhile, the "mother" should be criminally prosecuted for fraud and held civilly liable for the adoption expenses and all legal expenses incurred by the adoptive parents and the father fighting this. She should also be hit with a nice, big child support order and granted only limited, supervised visitation (if she chooses to exercise it).
The Freis (adoptive parents) were well aware when they took that baby that the father didn't know and would probably fight it... They are not victims, they are complicit in this fraud, then they fought tooth and nail to keep that stolen baby from her father. That's disgusting behavior, not an ounce of sympathy here.
I agree with bloomie and coles_mom. The adoptive parents are not innocents victims.
Thank God this man got his baby back! In a world where many fathers are absent, this is great story to hear. I just read about this on Y a h o o and there are many people who think he shouldn't have this baby because "he is single" and because "he wasn't at the birth", "should have known the person he impregnated better", etc. It's really horrible to know that lots of people are ok with a father's baby being stolen out from under him while he was on active duty. This is such a sad story in so many ways but thank God it has a happy ending. Now they need to prosecute the mother.
I spoke too soon....um RosasMummy, if somebody stole your baby you would be okay with that? Really? Come on.